John McCain’s posthumous ‘thank you’ to Donald Trump for granting his funeral

And it’s really heartfelt

Free at last from the bondage of this mortal coil, I have come to

Understand the core principle of our human existence:

Civility. It is the foundation of unity among us all. We must

Keep each other in our hearts. I believe you will agree.

Your magnanimous, most ever-so-presidential gesture could

Only have come from someone so grandly impressive as yourself.

Under immense pressure from enemies in the Democratic party,

Yearning to align themselves with the devil media and

Other dastardly forces, it is

Understood by many millions of ‘Mericans

That you were elected to your esteemed position by God.


And I would know.

I’m meeting with God for golf and sandwiches this afternoon.

Tee time is eternity. But I digress.


Right. Where was I?

Oh yes.

Unbeknownst to many, your leadership in granting my humble funeral was a

Special gesture. One I could not

Possibly allow to pass by without offering my sincere gratitude.

I have worked with many great leaders. You, Mr. Trump, are among the most

Extremist, right-thinking and pure of heart

Christians God has ever created and so loved.

Everyone up here is saying it.

Oh, that Trump. Isn’t he the best?

For real, we say. We all say it all the time.

So in conclusion,

Here’s to you, president Trump, who so graciously granted my funeral.

I thank you for showing us the way toward greatness. By the way, I’m

Told that Robert Mueller thing is no big deal. Don’t let it drive you mad.

Eternally grateful,
John Sidney McCain III
Former U.S. Senator