Mayweather breaks 6-hour retirement, returns to fighting (women)
Moments after taking down Conor McGregor in the ring on Saturday, Floyd Mayweather swore it was his last fight.
“This was my last fight, ladies and gentleman. … For sure.” — Floyd Mayweather
Floyd Mayweather said his final words as a professional boxer when he left the ring Saturday, triumphant over Conor McGregor and $250 million richer.
For the majority, Mayweather was expected to win his 50th match. His Irish rival had him beat in weight, height and reach, but the Southpaw couldn’t match his experience, with boxing in the ring or boxing at home.
A mere six hours after walking away from boxing forever, Mayweather lifted his fists in an altercation with a woman at his retirement/victory party.
“Everything was all good,” one partygoer-witness said. “Then she mentioned that the ref called TKO too early on McGregor.”
Mayweather allegedly rushed the woman and punched her repeatedly in the back of the head. Charges were pressed, but later dropped in favor of out-of-court negotiations.
“I’m just impressed at his aggressiveness,” one fan offered in response to his slew of assaults. “In the ring he’s such a defensive fighter, it was nice to see some forward action and versatility in the approach of his target.”
When asked if he would change anything about the incident, Mayweather said he was disappointed that he resorted to “hammer fist punches” — a move that would cost judicial point loss in boxing.
Mayweather promised his fans that the next beating would be more strategic. “Next time, I’ll do better,” he said.
This assault marks the 8th charge of violence against a woman in the last 13 years for the boxer.
“Sometimes I forget when I’m being paid to hit people, and when I’m not. I’ve made millions off of working with my hands. One punch slips out and people get all critical.”
Though he hung up his boxing gloves, bare-knuckle brawling remains an expressive option for the boxing veteran.
“Floyd Money Mayweather isn’t retired,” one fan said, shaking his head and smiling at the ground. “I just know he’ll be fighting for a long time, probably the rest of his life.”
This incident is satire and should be read as such. (However, Mayweather’s history of violence against women is very real. So is the lack of contempt and criticism for the famed boxer.)