NFL Stupid Season— 2016 edition

No one is immune. Not prestige teams, nor prestige players.

julian rogers
Jul 13, 2016 · 6 min read

There may be some extra air to be had. With still two to three more weeks until NFL players report to training camp, NFL executives, general managers and coaches are collectively holding their breath as they try to avoid daily news.

Yes, 2016 NFL Stupid Season is in full swing. These five-plus weeks between the close of your team’s June mini-camps and the start of training camp at the end of July is crazy time. It’s when your players and coaches are on their own. The reins are off. And the stupid comes out.

NFL arrests and misdeeds happen every year, all year. But this is the last time in 2016 players and coaches alike will have the most idle time to pursue their non-football interests. No required attendance. No team-enforced daily regimens.

For a majority of players and coaches, it’s a time for recreation and preparation for the rigors of the demanding NFL schedule. For a few less well-adjusted or not-so-mentally empowered players, it’s too much rope.

In a bit of an interesting twist in this 2016 version of NFL Stupid Season, several ex-players (or suddenly ex-players because they just crossed their own names off of 32 NFL teams’ maybe list) are getting the top headlines. For some, their offseason began well before June mini-camps … and is likely to last far longer.

Any offseason time is a dangerous time for the untethered NFL. Let’s review NFL Stupid Season so far. Don’t see your team represented here? Just wait. And hold your breath.

Baltimore Ravens

Carolina Panthers

Cleveland Browns

Notorious quarterback Johnny Manziel was charged in late January on domestic violence charges. He was indicted on those charges in April. The team released the once promising first-round draft pick in March. His girlfriend accused him of striking her after leaving a bar in Dallas. Given Manziel’s life trajectory, it’s hard to see him ever resurrecting his NFL career.

Dallas Cowboys

This is not the first time Bryant has had difficulty in civilized society. West is (or was) part of a mentoring support group for Bryant. West was also Bryant’s attorney that defended him during a dispute involving money owed for jewelry in 2011 and for a domestic violence case in 2012.

And in more former NFL player police-related news, former Cowboys running back Joseph Randle had this to say to a deputy: “I will kill you I swear on my life and everything that I have I will kill you when I get out.” He made these threats while incarcerated for charges including hitting three people with a car and interfering with police officers trying to serve him a warrant.

Denver Broncos

Journeyman tight end Richard Gordon was arrested in June for allegedly punching his girlfriend, according to police records.

Gordon, who was waived by the Denver Broncos in May, had an AR-15 assault rifle on the seat of his car, with two magazines of ammunition and a small amount of marijuana. Authorities believe he may have intended to shoot up a strip club, where he had had an altercation the night before. Originally a sixth-round pick by the Oakland Raiders, Gordon had spent time with six different NFL teams before being waived by Denver. In his five years bouncing around the league, he had been evaluated for mental illness three times.

Safety Shiloh Keo was arrested for DUI in Idaho on February 13, 2016.

Detroit Lions

Houston Texans

Indianapolis Colts

Well-traveled Colts running back Robert Turbin (Seahawks, Cowboys, Browns) was busted for marijuana possession in Utah in early July. He will be arraigned on July 26 and could face up to six months jail time.

Jacksonville Jaguars

In July, Jaguars running back Denard Robinson plunged his car into a pond in Florida. Despite that alarming state of circumstances, Robinson was discovered asleep by responding police officers. Despite being in a pond, he and his passenger didn’t want to get out of their vehicle. Robinson was found to be not intoxicated. Just very sleepy.

Los Angeles Rams

Not to be outdone, Rams’ safety T.J. McDonald was arrested in May on suspicion of being under the influence of an illegal substance other than alcohol after striking a parked car.

Miami Dolphins

New England Patriots

Wide receiver J.J. Worton was arrested for assault in January. He is charged with assault and battery after a bar fight in Foxboro, Mass.

New Orleans Saints

Seattle Seahawks

Former and once-again Seahawk, cornerback Brandon Browner, is “under investigation” for assault. In July, Browner was questioned by police for allegedly attacking his child’s grandfather, according to TMZ Sports.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

On a lighter note, Bucs wide receiver Louis Murphy managed to get himself locked in a museum after passing out at Chicago Bears’ Deonte Thompson’s wedding. He found it necessary to break a pane of glass to access a phone and call for help. He is cooperating with the museum to repair the damages.

© julian rogers | Juju Eye Communications | @thejujueye

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

julian rogers

Written by

Maker of words and other annoyances. Communicator for hire. Unaffordable. Owner of Juju Eye Communications + publisher of The Hit Job. Twitter: (@thejujueye).

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

julian rogers

Written by

Maker of words and other annoyances. Communicator for hire. Unaffordable. Owner of Juju Eye Communications + publisher of The Hit Job. Twitter: (@thejujueye).

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

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