Opening of Sean Spicer memoir leaked

I … one at a time … let …

Ian Belknap
Jul 22, 2017 · 2 min read

I was born — let me tell it. Please. Do not shout your questions at me. I will GET to it. I was born in Manhasset, New York, but I grew up in the East Bay of Rhode Island. Wait. Please. Wait. Please, wait. Let me FINISH my thought. Gah. You GUYS. I mean, JEEpers.

Where even was I?

Oh. Right. So Rhode Island, as you know, is the smallest state, so I feel like that’s made me scrappy.

What? No. Not “embattled” — SCRAPPY. I’ve always been kind of the underdo —

Sorry? Did I SAY “beleaguered”? I very much did not. Rude.

[Long, long peeved silence. Like four and a half pages.]

I went to the Portsmouth Abbey School, a Catholic boarding …

What?

What do you mean “aggrieved”? What does that even MEAN? You’re not making SENSE.

Whatever. I’m not going to engage.

An education that’s based in one’s faith really instills …

Look, if you’re all going to yell …

One at a TIME.

St. Martin’s Press has announced that the first in of Mr. Spicer’s three volumes (working title “Misunderstood”) will be released in early 2018. It is expected to be “in the neighborhood” of 700 pages, and will cover Mr. Spicer’s life up through like sophomore year of college.

More stuff at ianbelknap.com, including info on creative writing workshops. Twitter: @writeclubrules

The Hit Job

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Ian Belknap

Written by

Founder of WRITE CLUB. Essays, satire, criticism in The Rumpus, Chicago Tribune, Chicago Reader, American Theatre Magazine, etc. writerianbelknap.com

The Hit Job

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