“Pardon ME” Trump declares pardoning power, shouts ‘I’m the GOD!’ from Oval Office — now considers himself to be all-powerful & omniscient

Scaramucci says ‘Trump will get tough with Russia’ by refusing to admit Russia hacked US

Trump enjoys new role as “super villain that can’t be stopped,” also samples “absolute power.”

Ahh, to be untouchable, to be above the law. It’s the exact reason The Avengers get up and go to work every day*. Sometimes, as a society, we crave justice, order, and laws.

(*That, and HULK SMASH!!! Those two reasons).

Recently, former National Intelligence Director, James “Big Round Of Applause” Clapper, was quoted as saying, about Donald Trump: “Sometimes I think he’s about making Russia great again.”

James “Let’s All Give Him A Hand” Clapper, and former CIA chief John Brennan, also criticized Trump for denying all the intelligence community’s, and everyone else’s communities’, findings about Russia meddling in the 2016 election, calling Trump’s commentsdisgraceful.

Trump responded to this criticism, the same way many of his predecessor presidents might have, if they were in an episode of “The Flintstones” and were all hit in the head by a bowling ball made of granite, that was on a high shelf in a closet, and it bounced off of each of their heads, causing hilarious, cartoon-based, severe concussions, and brain damage, which drastically affected their behavior.

So, Trump, after a period of deep, careful, consideration as to his choice of words and their full ramifications, which took him .00000000756ths of a nano-second, tweeted:

  • “I can pardon anyone I want. I say this for no reason, whatsoever. I just thought I’d provide a Trump FUN FACT, each and every day, that’s based on facts that are actually true in my original dimension and home world, Blezekgladorp. And to my home world Blezekgladrorp, I want to say : Covfefe!!! Soon all the eggs will hatch, and we can finally begin the reclaiming. (PS. Bring Shralapazpaza, he LOVES reclaimings!!)”

I took this last Trump tweet to a noted psychologist, Dr. Barre B. Dahl, who read it, and had this to say.

“I read this. It read it, and now I can’t un-read it. Consider this my suicide note. What’s the point? We’re obviously all dead, and Trump’s native xeno-species is just going to barbecue all of us anyway. This goes beyond psychology. To call Trump’s tweets the ravings of a madman, would be a great disservice to all of history’s madmen. I dream of a better world beyond his reach. Tell Ken I love him. We’ll always have Malibu. Signed Dr. Barre B. Dahl.

Inspiring words indeed.

Trump then had some other sudden-random thoughts he felt it necessary to put into sentences that resemble a Mad-libs, found on the floor of one of the cells in Arkham Asylum, such as:

  • “Hillary emailed herself 30,000 20%-off coupons at Bed Bath & Beyond, even though you can only use one per order. We need to stop everything we’re doing, everywhere, and investigate this. It will be like the Manhattan project, or the moon landing, with hundreds of thousands of people using all our vast resources, and nothing else in the country can, or will, happen until we get to the bottom of this.”
  • Hillary, James Comey, and Obama, have formed a Nirvana Tribute Band, but pay no royalties or licensing fees to Courtney Love, the lady who apparently wrote all of Nirvana’s songs. Where’s the intelligence agencies NOW? What are they doing to end this? Where’s ASCAP and BMI?
  • James Comey keeps visiting my dreams and showing me my own grave with a headstone that says ‘Here lies a lunatic madman man-child con-artist treasonous felon that everyone hated because he sucked.’ He keeps saying “Lordy, I can’t wait to visit your dreams, and show you your future!” … We need to lock Comey Up!!!!

Written By Steven W. Rouach

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