fake Medium followers

Thank you to the dozens of real, totally not fake women that are now following me on Medium

Can’t wait to get to know you better!

julian rogers
Dec 17, 2020 · 4 min read
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Let me just say — I love amazing coincidences. Love them. And I don’t like to brag, but it seems I’m a bit of a hot commodity lately on @Medium. Of course, I don’t have universal appeal. My appeal is a little more refined.

I am ever so grateful to be suddenly receiving followers by the dozens. Several dozens, if you must know. And they’re all ladies!

This is fantastic. I love ladies. Check ’em out:

And this is just a small sample. It seems all of these single-named ladies of Medium are very into me. It is very gratifying.

Unfortunately, I cannot keep up correspondence with so many new followers. It’s just not possible. I’m only one man! But let me respond to some of my new, totally real and not-at-all-suspicious new followers.

Several of my new lady friends are pretty clever. They have some pretty witty and wise bio statements. Thought-provoking. Consider me provoked.

Let’s address a few, shall we? Sorry I cannot get to all of you!

Melissan writes: “My dream )” as her bio. So mysterious! Am I her dream? I’d like to think so. Can’t wait to see what unfolds next between us.

Another Melissan (WHAT ARE THE ODDS?) wrote: “As you make your bed, so you must lie in it.” I hate to quibble with a new friend, but I’m going to argue with that one. Just because I made my bed, doesn’t mean I have to lie in it. I might be traveling. I might fall asleep on the couch. I could end up in a hospital due to some unforeseen accident. But that’s cool. Whatever. We can agree to disagree.

Claire wrote: “Don’t fall before you’re pushed.” Ooh. Deep. I don’t get it. At all. This is a brilliant mind. Beyond me, for sure.

June says: “Need teaches a plan.” That’s almost as deep as Claire.

Anen wrote: “The early bird catches the worm.” I’ve heard this before. It must be true. I like truth.

Ane (Clearly distinguished from Anen) wrote: “All cats love fish but hate to get their paws wet.” This is brave. Ane is dealing in absolutes. Also, I don’t know if I agree with it, but I always hate to be ungrateful with new lady company. There I go dealing in absolutes too! Ane is an influencer.

Ethelf wrote: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” The only thing I know for sure from this is that Ethelf is not George W. Bush. And is she an elf? How Christmassy! Or is that being culturalist? Maybe forget I said that.

Emily & Beryl both wrote: “Cripto.” What a coincidence! And so cryptic. Did they mean, “crypto”? Was it a typo? Or is that too typtic?

Nancys writes: “Life is what you make it.” Is this multiples of Nancy or is the “S” a hint at her last name? Our relationship is progressing if I know her last initial. It’s like a beautiful puzzle.

Fiona wrote: “Tastes differ.” I’m not liking her tone here. This sounds like she is souring on our relationship.

Aria wrote: “Market.” What the hell does that mean? Explain! You’re saying you’re on the market? Well I’m on the market too!

Lydiaf wrote: “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” Oh yeah? Who is this “friend”? What’s he write that I haven’t written? Not cool, Lydiaf. If that is your real name.

Priscillan wrote: “He who plays with fire gets burnt.” Is that a threat? You’re threatening me now? We’ll see who gets burnt. I’m good with fire!

Catherinen wrote: “All that glitters is not gold.” I know! Of course I know that. Why would you think I don’t know that? I never said all that glitters is gold. You cannot prove that I did. Never. Said. It.

Saraf wrote: “Better is the enemy of good.” Enemy? ENEMY? Whoa! We’re talkin’ enemies now? And what the hell does that mean?

Stellas wrote … nothing. STELLAS!

Come back, ladies!

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

julian rogers

Written by

Maker of words and other annoyances. Communicator & strategist for hire. Owner of Juju Eye Communications + publisher of The Hit Job. Twitter: (@thejujueye).

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

julian rogers

Written by

Maker of words and other annoyances. Communicator & strategist for hire. Owner of Juju Eye Communications + publisher of The Hit Job. Twitter: (@thejujueye).

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

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