fake Medium followers
Thank you to the dozens of real, totally not fake women that are now following me on Medium
Let me just say — I love amazing coincidences. Love them. And I don’t like to brag, but it seems I’m a bit of a hot commodity lately on @Medium. Of course, I don’t have universal appeal. My appeal is a little more refined.
I am ever so grateful to be suddenly receiving followers by the dozens. Several dozens, if you must know. And they’re all ladies!
This is fantastic. I love ladies. Check ’em out:
And this is just a small sample. It seems all of these single-named ladies of Medium are very into me. It is very gratifying.
Unfortunately, I cannot keep up correspondence with so many new followers. It’s just not possible. I’m only one man! But let me respond to some of my new, totally real and not-at-all-suspicious new followers.
Several of my new lady friends are pretty clever. They have some pretty witty and wise bio statements. Thought-provoking. Consider me provoked.
Let’s address a few, shall we? Sorry I cannot get to all of you!
Melissan writes: “My dream )” as her bio. So mysterious! Am I her dream? I’d like to think so. Can’t wait to see what unfolds next between us.
Another Melissan (WHAT ARE THE ODDS?) wrote: “As you make your bed, so you must lie in it.” I hate to quibble with a new friend, but I’m going to argue with that one. Just because I made my bed, doesn’t mean I have to lie in it. I might be traveling. I might fall asleep on the couch. I could end up in a hospital due to some unforeseen accident. But that’s cool. Whatever. We can agree to disagree.
Claire wrote: “Don’t fall before you’re pushed.” Ooh. Deep. I don’t get it. At all. This is a brilliant mind. Beyond me, for sure.
June says: “Need teaches a plan.” That’s almost as deep as Claire.
Anen wrote: “The early bird catches the worm.” I’ve heard this before. It must be true. I like truth.
Ane (Clearly distinguished from Anen) wrote: “All cats love fish but hate to get their paws wet.” This is brave. Ane is dealing in absolutes. Also, I don’t know if I agree with it, but I always hate to be ungrateful with new lady company. There I go dealing in absolutes too! Ane is an influencer.
Ethelf wrote: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” The only thing I know for sure from this is that Ethelf is not George W. Bush. And is she an elf? How Christmassy! Or is that being culturalist? Maybe forget I said that.
Emily & Beryl both wrote: “Cripto.” What a coincidence! And so cryptic. Did they mean, “crypto”? Was it a typo? Or is that too typtic?
Nancys writes: “Life is what you make it.” Is this multiples of Nancy or is the “S” a hint at her last name? Our relationship is progressing if I know her last initial. It’s like a beautiful puzzle.
Fiona wrote: “Tastes differ.” I’m not liking her tone here. This sounds like she is souring on our relationship.
Aria wrote: “Market.” What the hell does that mean? Explain! You’re saying you’re on the market? Well I’m on the market too!
Lydiaf wrote: “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” Oh yeah? Who is this “friend”? What’s he write that I haven’t written? Not cool, Lydiaf. If that is your real name.
Priscillan wrote: “He who plays with fire gets burnt.” Is that a threat? You’re threatening me now? We’ll see who gets burnt. I’m good with fire!
Catherinen wrote: “All that glitters is not gold.” I know! Of course I know that. Why would you think I don’t know that? I never said all that glitters is gold. You cannot prove that I did. Never. Said. It.
Saraf wrote: “Better is the enemy of good.” Enemy? ENEMY? Whoa! We’re talkin’ enemies now? And what the hell does that mean?
Stellas wrote … nothing. STELLAS!
Come back, ladies!