The elusive low (or but I know Jay)

5th day in Spain

Shayne Seymour
Oct 4, 2018 · 5 min read
“Laugh neon signage” by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

It’s not the heat. It’s the humility

Okay, that’s not exactly how it goes. It’s the humidity that oppresses.

The elusive low 90s

So far, every day I’ve been here in Madrid — all five of them — the weather app has forecasted a cooler day the next day. Then every day is as hot as the previous day with a new forecast of a cooler day tomorrow.

Elusive or illusive?

I still don’t know. I went with elusive. I hope I got it right.

Why I don’t go to comedy clubs

You’d think someone like me, who loves to laugh and make people laugh, who tries to be funny when he writes, would love comedy clubs. I don’t go to comedy clubs.

The second time

The second time I went to a comedy club, the friend who won the tickets knew one of the comedians from their church. We got to meet the comic before the show. It was a good time. All the comics were funny, but funny is easy to come by.

But I know jay!

My friend Jay is hilarious. He is the reason I don’t go to comedy clubs. When people ask me to go to a comedy club, I say, “Why would I spend money on people who may not be funny when I can hang out with Jay? Jay is always funny. Plus, more than two drinks!

That makes sense (to them)

Musicians want to go so other musicians. Writers read other writers. Artists go to museums to see other artists’ work. It makes sense for comics to go see other comics.

The first time

The first time I went to a comedy Club was when a friend my girlfriend (at the time) asked us to join them.

The second time

The second time it was the preacher who married my wife and me. I couldn’t say no to him, and I had no reason to assume his friends were lame.

It’s the gift that keeps on giving

After both those visits to comedy clubs, I received phone calls informing me I that I won a drawing and that myself and 15 or 20 of my closest friends could get free tickets for a show. There’s just a two-drink minimum.

But I kinda like the music

Whenever Spain comes up in conversation, as it did frequently the past few months, Jay will say,

“You know. <grand pause> I’ve never been to Spain. <shorter pause> But I kinda like the music.”

You know it’s coming. You can see it from a mile away, but comedy is timing and delivery. It never gets old.

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains

Out of my past nine years on this planet, I have now spent nine weeks in Spain. I enjoyed the music. I couldn’t wait to get here so I could confirm that the rain does indeed fall on the plains.

I still know Jay

I still know Jay. Depending on the bartender, there is always a two-drink minimum. The downside: whenever I drive, there’s a two-drink maximum.

Speaking of City Central

I still haven’t been. Maybe tomorrow.

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

Shayne Seymour

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Happiness Architect at Survived 25 years of corporate America. I take #Happiness seriously. So you don't have to. I also humor.

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble