The emails that make my life important

It’s not what you are thinking

Photo by James Pond on Unsplash

Like you, and like my 100-years-old neighbor, and like the 1000-years-old tortoise in the zoo, I get a number of emails a day. I have signed up for courses which I never knew existed; some websites still send me offers for buying diapers though by now they should have known that the kid has grown up (I believe they knew what color was the baby’s poop when I bought diapers from them); there are those who send emails only to send another email to say “Sorry, I sent you the wrong email,” and so many more.

Recently, I’ve been getting a lot of emails which took my time and attention, and therefore, they definitely deserve a post.

  1. Someone authorized me to buy air tickets for someone else and send them a check for it. They also mentioned that dietary instructions should be specified NIL. My interpretation was they wanted the passengers to starve.
  2. I didn’t know I was a doctor until I got this email that informed me that I had qualified for the ESY TYSA 2017. The email mentioned “Congratulations.” I assumed that must be a pretty big achievement I had. I read the email and invited all my friends over, opened a champagne and celebrated. They asked me what I was celebrating. I showed them this email. Nobody had a clue. They asked for another bottle of champagne.
  3. I received this email from a Chinese company that told me that the furniture I had ordered from China had not yet been despatched because the plastic needed for that particular piece was not available. My eyebrows shot up on reading it. How many varieties of plastic do they have? I considered writing back asking for a wooden substitute and also screaming at them for the delay in despatch.
  4. This one was particularly attractive. It only said “Is it that valuable?” Now, what do I say of this? There’s a lot in that four-word sentence: mystery, confrontation, question, doubt, challenging logic, a couple-fight? I thought someone just gave me a writing prompt.
  5. I received another email from the Chinese company telling me that they were looking for PET and LDPE variety of plastic. I had to spend some time on that email and research before I could send them the plastic they needed. PET stands for Polyethylene Terephthalate and LDPE stands for Low Density Polyethylene plastic. I forwarded the email to my husband hoping he could send them PET and LDPE at wholesale rates.

Going by the stats, I seem to be a favorite with the Chinese. These emails are pure gems and I cannot just let them die a disgraceful death in my inbox. I need to reply to these and ask them one question: “Is it that valuable?”

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