The Trump Butterfly Effect: Hey Effing Geniuses… How About a Little Help?
Attn. Rick Sanchez of Sector C137, can you spare a few minutes?
Today, I read an article about a man, Jacques Mattheij, who wound up with TWO METRIC TONS of UNSORTED LEGOS, due to a series of events that included, and also were based upon; “not first consulting his wife”.
So what did he do?
I’m glad you asked (via the voices in my head, that I’m just assuming are you).
He discovered, that he can make a huge profit selling them, if only he could sort them into sets. There are 38,000 different LEGO shapes and hundreds of colors of each shape. So, he found stuff from around his house, built a conveyor belt, with things like optics and physics and science, and he then wrote software to configure and control the tiny new LEGO-sorting factory that he built, which takes up less space than my Nordic-trak.
Why am I telling you this? Oh, I don’t know because my meds just kicked in, but I’m sure there’s a point … Ahh, yes… Geniuses.
Jacques Mattheij built an entire working factory the size of a desk with software to control it, in the same exact amount of time it takes me to sort and do my laundry. If I, myself, had hired teams of the smartest people I ever met, all diligently working on developing mechanized LEGO sorting solutions over the course of years, the best case scenario would be; I’d wind up accidentally setting my apartment on fire.
There are men and women like Mattheij all over the world. And I’m sure a few of them live here, in the Country Formerly Known As America.
There are geniuses among us. They’re the closest thing we have to superheroes (until I complete my radical experiments with electricity, where I randomly stick butter knives into electric wall sockets, attempting to manifest some kind of powers. — Science isn’t my strong suit, which is why this is taking so long).
So, here’s my question:
Say, theoretically, there was a situation where an unhinged lunatic gained a position of great power, through a series of unfortunate events, some of which included intervention from “hostile outside forces”, and then this maniac surrounded himself with, and appointed, the most twisted, deranged, overtly evil, and psychotic humanoids currently on Earth to help him, until we’re all suffering and walking through the streets like ‘The Walking Dead’, but with way more cannibalism, and everything on fire.
What is the “Butterfly Effect” to solve this? What tiny non-violent thing, can we “mortals”* do, to change the course we’re on? Like if; one of us changes her coffee order that day to a pink lemonade, causing someone else to have the idea to dress his dog with sunglasses and a jaunty pink hat, which causes a national movement of dogs in jaunty hats, something happens, something else happens, and then … UNITY. We’re a united country where we don’t necessarily hate each other anymore, and we all agree to get some giant catapults to legally expel those who’ll do us all great harm.
(* I’m only mortal until my Electro-Man experiments pan out, with me having fantastic, and uncanny super-powers. ZZZAAPP!)
So, ATTENTION GENIUSES!
Hi, Alan Guth! What’s the math here? What if everyone started communicating only via sock-puppets; will that help? Do we all need to start wearing stilts? What’s the seemingly inconsequential thing that can happen, to rid ourselves of Trump, Pence, McConnell, Mnuchin, Miller, & Nunes ? We need to know this, because they’re exactly like what happens when lice and bedbugs have babies together on the altar of a satanic church.
Or, perhaps, (noted Rolf Schock** Prize winner)-Donald Knuth? Are you guys really, really busy, or might I suggest you “step-up” and save all of humanity? (If, of course, you’re not too tied up with your own individual pursuits, to, you know, heroically save us all.)
(**Rolf Schock is the scientist who originally theorized using electricity to develop super-powers, which all of my own experiments are based upon. He’s also the subject of the popular song written by Ace Frehley, (KISS) “Schock Me” (Make Me Feel Better), off of KISS’ “Love Gun” album, which Rolling Stone magazine once described as: “an album”).
Sure, we can all hope for Trump’s impeachment, followed by Trump’s immediate relocation to a lunatic asylum, but then Mike Pence, the world’s most unsettling Vice President, (and lead singer of the popular heavy metal band: “Screaming Out Of The Closet”), gains power… a situation which is much like: Crawling out of a vat of dangerous and caustic chemicals, and then immediately just falling directly into a sewer. It just seems … unfair.
So, we’re looking to you geniuses to solve this.
Please, please help us fix this.
Perhaps instead of always diligently trying to create A.I. robots who’ll eventually kill us all, maybe you can use your amazing powers for GOOD, and save us all instead.
Written by Steven W. Rouach
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