The Hit Job
Published in

The Hit Job

TRUMP defends KKK fashion choice of wearing white after Labor Day.

Says: The KKK & Nazis should be able to make as many fashion faux pas as they like, because they’re terrific.


Since November 2016, there have been many changes in the world of fashion, here, in the country formerly known as America.

Old looks, such as SS armbands, and Nazi helmets have come back into vogue, truly la mode du jour* when invading Paris, or marching for racism. White robes with hoods, have also made a “bigly” comeback, which, FUN FACT: was a look originally pioneered by Fred Trump, when he was either arrested for attending a KKK rally, or, a costume party where everyone showed up dressed the same, in white robes and hoods, just through sheer coincidence, and then decided to just burn crosses to celebrate.

*(la mode du jour — A French phrase meaning: Appropriate clothing to wear when surrendering, or, fashionable clothing to wear when surrendering, depending on context)

However, now that labor day is coming up, how will that effect the alt-right and KKK’s fashion choices, when they chant about how they don’t want Jewish people to replace them, yelling “Jews won’t replace us”, to counter the counter-protesting Jewish people chanting “But we don’t want to replace you, you’re all worrying yourselves for nothing!”

Now, Donald Trump has stepped in to help. This is VERY surprising because Donald Trump really doesn’t like to be in the limelight. He’s a pretty low-key guy who never runs around with a bull-horn screaming “LOOK AT ME- EVERYONE LOOK AT ME” while wearing a top hat made of pulsating LED disco lights. No, Trump likes to keep an air of mystery, where he’ll refrain from making a public comment for sometimes as long as five entire seconds.

Trump, with the stoic determination and yet delicate choice of measured words, harkening back to such statesmen as Churchill, tweeted.

  • “I really don’t like minorities. True story. So, I’m rolling back all rules pertaining to wearing white after Labor Day, so that my core supporters can march, and goose-step around as they please, with no worries about fashion restrictions or harsh judgments from fashion experts who specialize in racism.”
  • “For my next trick I’m pardoning the entire Manson Family, and I’m making them all sheriffs! I’m also going to give them absolute power, and highly advanced militarized weapons, making them virtually unstoppable. Fake lying news keeps saying this is a bad, and insane, idea, and that I’ve had a series of strokes that effected my brain dancing smileface dog-blankets eureka!”
  • “COVFEFE! I’ve once again chewed through my restraints and am able to tweet again! Now that Hurricane Harvey is in full swing, I feel now would be a GREAT time for my new feature : ‘TRUMP’S Book Recommendations!’ Where I review and suggest books I haven’t read, that were written by people who support me! FUN!”
  • “I just made a series of calls to have the Russia investigation stopped. So far, I’ve called and yelled at Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, John McCain, Jennifer Lopez, Santa Claus, and Ringo Starr. I have a good feeling now that this will all go away. That’s my logic.”
  • “I’m a helicopter again! Getting so dizzy. Stupid staff keeps trying to make me stop or sedate me, but massive amounts of PCP make me unstoppable!! Losers. Sad.”

So, EXCITED that we have elected a president who defends the KKK, Nazis, and other white nationalist alt-right lunatic chuckle-heads? Will YOU be marching around like an idiot wearing white robes and hoods? What are YOUR views on wearing KKK robes after Labor Day? Let us know in the comments below, because FASHION is our PASSION!

Written By Steven W. Rouach

c2017 swrouach



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Steven Rouach

Steven Rouach

Is a carbon based life form from Earth. Anyone who tells you he's not is absolutely lying. He's known for being dashing, heroic & humanity's last, best, hope.