Donald Trump plans to really ‘step it up’ by appearing at future press conferences in KKK hood
America’s first pro-Nazi president continues to break new ground
Ah, leadership. Good leadership was why “Hogan’s Heroes” wasn’t called “Hogan, And A Bunch Of Corpses All Killed By Nazis.” Now, many of you are too young to remember it, but “Hogan’s Heroes” was a television show about captured POWs in WWII who were held captive in a German prison camp, and would be murdered if they’re caught trying to escape. — And, somehow, some way, against all possible, conceivable odds … it was a comedy. (The great comedian Gilbert Gottfried even had a bit about the pitch-meeting for that show).
I’m not sure where I’m going with this, because my meds just kicked in and everything looks soooo “shiny”…
But, perhaps, I think the point I’m trying to make here, is that by the 1960s Nazis and Nazism, was SO over with, that people were willing to accept a lighthearted, zany, comedy about the Third Reich. We truly no longer had to fear them.
And here we are now, today, in Trump’s new America, “*Now with 12 trillion% MORE lunacy!”
Donald Trump, after describing Nazis and white nationalists as “pretty terrific guys, just the best, most fantastic people …” and blaming peaceful protesters for infringing on the rights of the KKK, Nazis and the alt-right to violently attack and murder said peaceful protesters, later, went on to extol the virtues of the Zika Virus, saying:
- “Very unfair to talk bad about Zika, some of the mosquitoes that are infecting pregnant mothers are really good, fine, insects.”
Shortly after, Trump defended cancer, saying:
- “the ‘fake news’ and ‘fake media’ and ‘fake Donald Trump’, who gets on TV and pretends to be me, and then says things at news conferences truly well and beyond the realm of any known lunacy … would all have you believe cancer is undesirable. You know, people lose weight with cancer, and save money on hair products, but no one ever talks about that. Sad.”
Trump then SHOCKED the press, by announcing all future press conferences will feature him wearing, a press-on-adhesive Hitler mustache, a monocle, and donning a jaunty KKK white hood, which confirmed previously leaked reports from inside the White House’s new fashion staff.
When asked about this Trump responded:
“I’d just like to, once again, remind everyone here, everyone watching terrified through their splayed fingers at home while they shake, and everyone watching across the world, I REALLY DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH NAZIS, ALT/RIGHT WHITE NATIONALISTS, OR THE KKK. I’m doing everything I can to condone this behavior, short of holding up a sign that says ‘YAY! RACISM AND MURDER!’ which I absolutely would have, but the sign wasn’t ready in time due to a mix-up at the printing shop, because they thought I was just joking … So, keep up the good work and feel free to murder people who oppose Nazis as you see fit.”
Inspiring words, indeed.
Trump then, not surprisingly, praised AIDS, in an impassioned, and emotional, tweet:
- AIDS is sometimes great, really terrific, we have these medicines that try to KILL AIDS, but no one is in AIDS’ corner. Sad.
Trump then sent out a series of other tweets to really drive his points home.
- Don’t condemn falling into a vat of raw sewage mixed with chemical waste, and discarded used syringes, until you get the full story!
- “What statues will we get rid of next? First, it’s confederate war heroes who fought with their lives for the right to enslave other human beings, next they’ll want to get rid of statues like the one lovingly commemorating the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiments. Next thing you know, we’re all drinking out of the same water fountains again. Unfair!”
- I don’t condemn parents who hurl their infants off of tall buildings like an Olympic athlete throwing a discus; we don’t know both sides of the story! Some infants are annoying! I’m living proof!
- You know what’s delicious? CHOCOLATE CAKE. So, if you see terrifying Trump supporters dressed as Nazis coming to your town to possibly murder you, try offering them chocolate cake!
Written By Steven W. Rouach
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