What if brand slogans were brutally honest?
Sometimes being honest is hilarious
Brand slogans in many ways are mini-mission statements. They’re an audible form of advertising. No wonder, the world knows what a “Just Do It” or a “I’m Lovin’ it” refers to.
Often, unknowingly, famous companies sway away from their actual goal or their target audience does for reasons beyond control(like today, when we’re sheltering in place). This makes their actual slogans feel out of context.
Let’s look at some of the popular company slogans and how a little tweak makes them more relevant today. The outcome might not be a pleasant one, but it’ll make you chuckle, hopefully.
Actual: “Never settle”
Honest: The price keeps increasing.
Actual: “Think Different”
Honest: Except the price, it’s identically unique.
Actual: “Own it all”
Honest: Kill our friendships and time.
Actual: “Connecting the world’s professionals to make them more productive and successful.”
Honest: Endorse me for skills you’ve never seen.
Actual: “What’s Happening?”
Honest: Famous people are getting trolled.
Actual: “It’s quick and easy”
Honest: Yeah, pulling our data should be simple for you, Mark.
Actual: “Don’t be evil”
Honest: Okay, stop serving ads.
Actual: “The choice of a new generation”
Honest: When there’s no coke.
Actual: “Open Happiness”
Honest: Is cocaine still an additive?
Actual: There’s no official slogan. We just inspire and nurture the human spirit — one person, one cup, one neighborhood at a time.
Honest: An expensive McCafé.
Actual: “I’m lovin’ it”
Honest: Only when I’m broke.
Actual: We have no time to write one
Honest: Are you watching me?
Actual: *We have no slogan*
Honest: Quarantine and Zoom made you viral.
Actual: “Only the best is good enough”
Honest: What doesn’t kill my feet makes me stronger.
Actual: “See what’s next”
Honest: Let’s just chill.
Actual: “Just do it”
Honest: Behind closed doors.
Actual: “Work Hard. Have fun.”
Honest: Can we go home?
Actual: “The happiest place on earth”
Honest: The emptiest place on earth.
19. Corona Extra Beer
Actual: “Miles away from the ordinary.”
Honest: We are, while also hoping your beer sales recover quickly.
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