What if brand slogans were brutally honest?

Sometimes being honest is hilarious

Anupam Chugh
Apr 19 · 2 min read
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Photo by REVOLT on Unsplash

Brand slogans in many ways are mini-mission statements. They’re an audible form of advertising. No wonder, the world knows what a “Just Do It” or a “I’m Lovin’ it” refers to.

Often, unknowingly, famous companies sway away from their actual goal or their target audience does for reasons beyond control(like today, when we’re sheltering in place). This makes their actual slogans feel out of context.

Let’s look at some of the popular company slogans and how a little tweak makes them more relevant today. The outcome might not be a pleasant one, but it’ll make you chuckle, hopefully.

1. Oneplus

Actual: “Never settle”
Honest: The price keeps increasing.

2. Apple

Actual: “Think Different”
Honest: Except the price, it’s identically unique.

3. Monopoly

Actual: “Own it all”
Honest: Kill our friendships and time.

4. LinkedIn

Actual: “Connecting the world’s professionals to make them more productive and successful.”
Honest: Endorse me for skills you’ve never seen.

5. Twitter

Actual: “What’s Happening?”
Honest: Famous people are getting trolled.

6. Facebook

Actual: “It’s quick and easy”
Honest: Yeah, pulling our data should be simple for you, Mark.

7. Google

Actual: “Don’t be evil”
Honest: Okay, stop serving ads.

8. Pepsi

Actual: “The choice of a new generation”
Honest: When there’s no coke.

9. Coca-Cola

Actual: “Open Happiness”
Honest: Is cocaine still an additive?

10. Starbucks

Actual: There’s no official slogan. We just inspire and nurture the human spirit — one person, one cup, one neighborhood at a time.
Honest: An expensive McCafé.

11. McDonald's

Actual: “I’m lovin’ it”
Honest: Only when I’m broke.

12. Zoom

Actual: We have no time to write one
Honest: Are you watching me?

13. Houseparty

Actual: *We have no slogan*
Honest: Quarantine and Zoom made you viral.

14. Lego

Actual: “Only the best is good enough”
Honest: What doesn’t kill my feet makes me stronger.

15. Netflix

Actual: “See what’s next”
Honest: Let’s just chill.

16. Nike

Actual: “Just do it”
Honest: Behind closed doors.

17. Amazon

Actual: “Work Hard. Have fun.”
Honest: Can we go home?

18. Disneyland

Actual: “The happiest place on earth”
Honest: The emptiest place on earth.

19. Corona Extra Beer

Actual: “Miles away from the ordinary.”
Honest: We are, while also hoping your beer sales recover quickly.

Thanks for reading. If you liked what you read, check out this story below:

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

Anupam Chugh

Written by

Pouring thoughts in technology and code. Writer with over 2M views. An Android and iOS developer by the day. Sometimes funny. linkedin.com/in/anupamchugh

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

Anupam Chugh

Written by

Pouring thoughts in technology and code. Writer with over 2M views. An Android and iOS developer by the day. Sometimes funny. linkedin.com/in/anupamchugh

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

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