Where’s Trumpo?

#TrumpIsHiding

Oh, where oh where is the fat lying con? Oh, where oh where can he be?

It seems we’ve misplaced the GQP’s front runner. What’s going on? Is Trump hiding?

Mr. Barron? Mr. John Barron, do you know where defendant Trump is?

Barron: Only I can find him. He is doing fine. I assure you. Just fine. In fact, he’s tremendous. Many people are saying so. I’m hearing it all over. Many people are saying this.

Just yesterday, believe it or not, someone came up to me … big guy, strong, firm jaw. With a tear in his eye, he said, “Sir, I’m lost without Donald Trump. I just hope he can save us all from the lyin’ shifty Dems and Joe Buden.”

The people love him. They’re all saying it.

There is no way I, I mean he, can lose this next presidented election. Unless the lying Dems are allowed to cheat like they did last time.

So I hope we find him soon. I have a feeling we will and it will be tremendous, believe me. There will be much rejoicing among the real patriots. Make America Great Again. You can buy hats that say that, did you know that? I just thought of that, right now. We should make hats that say, “Make America Great Again” and sell them to all the true patriot MAGA faithful.

We should also sell gold-colored sneakers. I’m well-known, I mean he is well known for being a top-tier athlete and sneakers are a natural for our brand. I mean, his brand.

Also bibles. We are selling bibles. And they’re great too. They have all my favorite biblical words in them and other ‘merican documents that my lawyers say we don’t have to pay for because they’re from imminent domain or something. Plus that song you always hear.

Only $60 right now. Don’t go online to Walmart or anywhere else to find the exact same thing for much cheaper. You can’t do it. Waste of time.

But we’ll find him. He is not hiding. He’s not hiding because he has no money to fund his rallies. That’s a lie and a myth and a mean, nasty thing to say. He’s also not hiding because he’s losing his marbles from advanced age, a lifetime of drug use, poor health and inbred stupidity. There is no dementia. That’s what we’re saying about the other guy. None! Don’t even think about it.

He could be out campaigning right now. You don’t know. He could be. So Trump is not hiding.