Future hurricanes to be named after top-paid CEOs.
Geneva, Switzerland, 10:48 a.m. 09/18/2019 –
In a surprise move that blindsided climatologists and economists around the globe, the World Meteorological Organization announced today that starting in 2020 it will begin naming tropical storms and hurricanes after the world’s top-paid CEOs. “We considered using the names of politicians, but they seem immune to public outcries anymore,” said Hans Wetterfrosch, Chief Meteorologist for the WMO. “CEOs at least have a board of directors to answer to,” Wetterfrosch said that starting next year, the WMO will go top-to-bottom on the Bloomberg Pay Index rankings to name storms, abandoning the long-held alphabetical system. “Right out of the gate, we’re starting with Musk,” Wetterfrosch said, gesticulating at a photo of the Tesla CEO. “Of course, Mr. Musk is honored to hear this,” said Terri Anderson, a spokeswoman for the Tesla organization. “Few people want to get off this hot, stinking rock more than he does. This just further invigorates his efforts to promote space travel and extraterrestrial colonization. In fact, he just texted me that he’s hoping for the first-ever Category 6 storm next year. Putting his name on it though? Wow. That would just be another dodo feather in his black rhino skin cap.” This is a developing story.
