Nation sticks ‘Kick Me’ sign on president’s back.

Washington, D.C., 1:08 p.m., 10/02/19 –

“Hey Prez, how’s it going?” said the nation today, casually patting President Trump’s back as it affixed a hand-drawn “Kick Me” sign between his shoulder blades. “How was lunch? Those burgers you had looked pretty good.” The country then did its best to stifle its giggles as the commander-in-chief went into a longwinded rant about how soggy his fries were, blithely unaware that he was now inviting the passerby to give him a sharp boot to the posterior. “Oh, that’s too bad,” said the Land of Opportunity, biting its lip. “Good thing you had lots of ketchup. Anyway, good talk, see you around!” Canada and Mexico, who were chatting by North America’s office vending machine, caught sight of the sign as Trump ambled past them, and they each covered their mouths and pointed at him behind his back. Guatemala almost ruined it for everyone by laughing out loud at Trump, who sneered at the Central American country. As of press time, Haiti had just taken note of the sign and was strategically walking up behind the leader of the free world, gathering speed. This is a developing story.