Voyager 2 sends back alien message: ‘Pick up your trash’

The Universe, 7:37 am, 02/10/2020

Due to one part miracle and many, many more parts the dedication of NASA scientists and engineers, Voyager 2 is back up and running.

“It takes 34 hours to even know if a fix worked,” said Asaka Wakitaki, lead communication engineer for both Voyager probes. “We sent the fix and the first thing we got back was the message.”

The message, she said, was disturbing.

“Humans of Earth, this is your second notice,” the message says. “The Council demands that this object be retrieved immediately. You now have 67 Earth years to complete this task. Failure to complete your task may mean the quarantining of the Solar System. The minimum sentence for this crime is 1 million years for each object.”

“The transmission is still continuing actually with what seems to be the laws of the universe,” Wakitaki said. “Literally, the laws – and ordinances. Like where you can and can't park an interdimensional transport and such. We’ll be reading this for a long time. But we really have to get the Voyagers and whatever the hell else we have out there back ASAP. This is nuts.”

Earth, in fact, has many more objects out there. Voyager 1 seems to be doing its thing, even though it's farther out but in a different…