Should You Homeschool Your Kids?

Nature hikes are a vital part of our homeschooling

Okay, so we live in a world of pandemics, mass shootings, underfunded schools, and teaching methods that date back to the 19th Century. As a modern parent, you might just angrily surrender to the harsh truth of the way things are. Or, if you’re determined (and lucky), you might consider another path: homeschooling.

To begin with, the commonly-held image of homeschooling is not, shall we say, super awesome. It is generally associated with deeply religious people who keep their kids at home because they don’t like the secular nature of public schooling. In fact, most people consider homeschooling to result in a sub-par education. It can’t be denied that in many cases, these stereotypes are, sadly, accurate.

However, the fact is that while some parents do prioritize religion in their homeschooling, many don’t. And while some parents fail their kids by not keeping them up to speed on their curricula, homeschooling does have the potential to be a fantastic learning experience. It’s entirely up to you. In fact, if your goal is to focus on academics, you might well find you’re able to accomplish way more than your local public school.

I myself am entirely secular in my teaching; since my ultimate goal is for my children (ages 8 and 10) to return to school eventually, and attend university, I work hard to ensure my kids are keeping up with their friends who are still in school — at the very least. In many areas, we surpass the grade requirements. Yes, you read that right.

The fact is, if you’re properly organized, you can get through your course content far more efficiently than most schools. Just imagine removing all the time spent in classrooms moving kids around, answering questions, enforcing discipline, granting bathroom visits, shuffling between rooms and so on. This means you can probably cut your school day by a couple of hours. It also means you can spend more time working with your kids, and giving them independent research and writing projects, to ensure they really grasp the material.

The cat gets so excited during our lessons

My own son, who turned ten years old during the 2020–2021 school year, marvelled at how quickly we were blowing through the curriculum after just one month of homeschooling. My daughter, aged seven, drastically improved her reading and writing. Both are more confident, more sure of their abilities, and better able to pick up information on their own. Your mileage may vary, of course, but the potential is certainly there.

By “secular,” I mean prioritizing academic material, especially math, reading and writing. At least as important as all that, partly due to the stresses and fears surrounding the pandemic, was an emphasis on their mental health. I made sure we had lots of closeness, lots of conversation, and lots of outdoor time (all the libraries and museums were (and are, at the time of writing), closed, but we’re lucky enough to live near lots of wooded areas for great nature hikes (plus a park for outdoor gym class).

In other words, I wanted them to be healthy, happy academic champs. We did have conversations about religion and spirituality, but only within the context of their lessons. I absolutely did not try to teach them anything outside the standard curriculum.

My personal experience was very hard work for me — very hard work. By the end of the school year I was exhausted (or perhaps “burned out” is a more honest term). Considering how well my children did, I believe it was definitely worth it.

Before we get into the nitty gritty, here are the pros and cons of homeschooling, as I see them:

Cons:

• There’s much less socialization. This is a biggie. That casual chit-chat children have in hallways, in the classroom and during recess are incredibly important in building social skills, gaining friends, and finding emotional connections. There are ways to mitigate this, up to a point, but it’s just not the same as being at school.
• It’s exhausting for the parent-teacher. YouTube is full of homeschooling parents showing off their perfect learning spot, their calm grasp of the schedules, and their wonderfully-behaved kids. In truth, it’s very hard work, it’s messy, and it’s stressful. The kids become your entire life, especially if you’re also looking after them before and after school time. You need to go into this with your eyes open, fully aware of how much work it is. Personally I think it’s worth it, but that’s an individual choice.
• It can be expensive. You’re on the hook for all expenses: books, craft supplies, writing materials, equipment, computers, all of it. I suppose a careful calculation might find a balance if you factor in public school requests for donations, bake sales, stuff like that. The costs of homeschooling aren’t necessarily high, depending on the choices you make (though you’ll have to fight the constant pressure to max out the budget); the real cost is on the revenue side.
• You can’t work full-time. This is probably the biggest reason why parents dismiss the idea of homeschooling. If you’re teaching, you’re not out there earning a paycheck. Depending on your circumstances, you might be able to work from home on a part-time basis, but even that can be extremely tricky, if for no other reason than teaching will use up your energy reserves (and it may be hard to leave your kids alone while you work).
• “My kids won’t listen to me.” This can be a challenge. Most kids aren’t used to thinking of home as a place where work gets done, and so can resist your teaching efforts, or even get upset and act out. Make sure you stay calm and dish out “inducements” most teachers can only dream of, such as banning treats, screen time and so forth. Truth be told, knowing how to shift gears and settle down to work, even if it’s boring and/or unpleasant, is one of the most valuable lessons a kid can learn.

Pros:

• You will learn to play to your kids’ strengths. In public school, there is a single educational method that is applied to everyone, regardless of how well it works on individual kids. In homeschooling, however, you quickly figure out the best ways your children absorb knowledge and process it. Once you really mesh, you’d be amazed by how quickly your kids can pick up new information. This is especially valuable if your kids have learning exceptionalities, such as dyslexia, ADHD or a physical disability. Rather than melting into the crowd, they will receive one-on-one attention from you.
• It’s actually fun. Once you realize you don’t have to imitate the teachers you had growing up and free yourself from lecturing in front of a blackboard, you’ll be able to come up with new ways of teaching that are impossible in public school. Personally, I gamify math, take my kids outside (especially on nature hikes), and apply their lessons to real life. You can make your teaching as kinesthetic (hands-on) as you like, including games and field trips — the possibilities are endless.
• It builds kids’ self-esteem. Socialization is important, but it’s also very stressful. In fact so much about school is stressful for kids. At home, however, they’re safe, they’re comfortable, they’re relaxed, and as they see their own learning progress their self-esteem is likely to soar. The ultimate goal is teaching them how to develop their own learning. If it goes well, you’ll start to hear those wonderful words: “wow, did I do that?”
• It’s safe. No one is harming your kids. No one is bullying them. No one is making them sick. Knowing this, as a parent, is comforting beyond words. Seeing them happy and healthy on a daily basis will make you very happy.
• It’s incredibly efficient. Once you get into the groove, you’ll find you’re covering the learning content way faster than public schools. With one-on-one learning tailored to their strengths, your kids will absorb information with a speed that will blow your mind. Pretty soon you’ll wonder just what the schools spend all their time on. In truth, even if you just cut out the time spent on changing subjects, quieting everyone down, moving to other classrooms, getting set up and so on, you’ll realize that homeschooling automatically cuts a big chunk out of the ordinary school day.
• You can target specific learning needs. In regular schools, teachers have their hands full. While in theory they’re trained to target their course content to each student’s individual needs, in practice a lot of stuff gets missed and a lot of kids fall through the cracks. As a homeschooler, though, you’ll be able to prioritize things like reading, handwriting, time management, attention span, math skills, and, especially, self-directed learning. Chances are you’ll find yourself doing this without even realizing it, and your kids will benefit spectacularly.

It’s all about weighing those pros and cons. Still think you might want to homeschool? All right, let’s keep going.

Can I afford it?

This of course is a highly personal question that depends entirely on your own circumstances. Here are some facts:

Let’s start with the biggest issue: the time spent teaching is not earning you money. In theory it might be possible to hold down a full-time job while homeschooling, but I can’t imagine making that work. Picture an eight-hour chunk of your day during which you are unavailable to anyone but your kids. Even if you don’t use that full eight hours for teaching, there will be other work necessary, such as class preparation, marking, research, organizing, and tidying (lots of tidying). So while your homeschooling experience might require fewer hours than a full-time job, I wouldn’t bank on it. And don’t forget there’s also that everyday stuff on top, like childcare, mealtimes, doctor’s appointments, and so on. Not to mention home life doesn’t stop just because you’re teaching; there’s still laundry, dishes, meals, all that fun stuff.

In other words, don’t bank on being available for paid work. You have to budget your time, and there’s a fixed amount of it; allowing time for paid work probably means taking away from teaching (and vice versa).

As if that weren’t enough, there are extra expenses involved in homeschooling. Depending on your living situation, you might need some new furniture (such as a work table, individual desks, a reading nook, a bookshelf), laptops, art supplies, curriculum guides, and memberships with online resources. You might want to bring in outside help for some areas, like a math tutor or a music teacher. It’s impossible to put a number on it, because everyone’s needs are unique, but I encourage you to draw up a rough estimate by comparing a list of your basic needs and a list of what you have available.

One thing to be very careful of: upgrades. As with so many things in life, you can spend a certain amount to get what you need, but when it comes to homeschooling there are plenty of opportunities to spend way more. Whether it’s materials, books, furniture, heck, just about everything, you’ll be tempted (or pressured) to increase your budget. That old parental guilt will be a powerful motivator; it’s so easy to feel like you’re short-changing your kids if you aren’t crafting a beautiful Pinterest-ready experience.

No matter what your budget may be, you have to resist the temptation to spend more. Money is a distraction. You could teach your kids sitting cross-legged on the floor. You don’t need that ultra-fancy high-tech projector, and your shelves don’t need to sag with a boatload of books. You’ll make it work, believe me.

NOTE: we’ll get to resources and materials in a later post.

It may surprise you to know that under some circumstances, homeschooling can save money. For many parents, regular school is accompanied by daycare, and this expense will probably be absent if you homeschool. Depending on where you live, this could wind up saving a huge amount of money. At the same time, you’ll probably find that you’re driving less, dining in restaurants less, generally spending less on nonessentials. Finally, some jurisdictions offer tax benefits for homeschooling; that’s something to look into.

Overall, it’s extremely difficult to put a dollar amount on how much homeschooling will cost you. If you’re lucky, it will turn out to cost you the same as your current life. Chances are, though, it won’t. Taking the path of homeschooling affects many parts of your life, but the financial obstacles are probably the first one you’ll encounter. The next is probably psychological. Namely, stress.

How stressful is homeschooling?

Homeschooling is work, and don’t let anyone tell you different. And with that work comes physical exhaustion and a lot of stress. As the teacher, you’re responsible for deciding which learning targets you want your kids to reach, and you’re responsible for making sure they reach those targets. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a spouse or loved one to help you get there, but chances are it’s all just you. Look, it’s not easy, at least at first.

Kids not feeling well? You’re not feeling well? Internet goes out? Your kids just can’t grasp what you’re trying to teach them? One of the kids spills apple juice all over your notes? Too bad! You’ve got to take care of it.

We usually do gym class outdoors

You need to make management of your own state of mind a priority. Keep an eye on your needs and make sure you’re looking after yourself. Don’t ever think that you must be pounding the table like a drill sergeant from morning till closing time! Regular school isn’t like that and neither should you be. Give yourself breaks. In our house, we’ve gotten into the habit of outdoor reading time; both kids, and myself, grab a book and head out to a nature spot to just sit and read, sometimes stopping for a snack on the way home.

Here are what I think are the key factors in managing stress:

Don’t ignore your needs. When you’re homeschooling, it’s so easy to put the needs of the kids first, middle and last. Don’t let that happen. Keep an eye on your energy levels, your stress levels, your mood, all of it. If you take medication, stay on top of it. If help or support is available, reach out. Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. Your kids wouldn’t want to crowd out your needs, so neither should you.

Building and sticking to a schedule. Kids love routine, and it helps time pass. It’s really helpful to be able to look at a calendar and know what your week will be like. Keeping each day organized will also help. An hour of math, followed by a 20 minute recess, followed by an hour of writing, and so on. And it’s good to keep organized on a larger basis too, with specific learning targets for specific months, terms, seasons, and so on. Once you get into the rhythm, it will be like breathing.

Keeping your resources organized. You’re going to need worksheets, books, craft supplies, computers, binders, pencils, calculators — the list is long. Try to keep it sorted out so that you (and your kids) can easily find it. I can tell you from experience that dropping everything to hunt down some specific item you need really brings the day to a screeching halt. As a bonus, keeping everything sorted will help teach your kids about organizing their own stuff.

Give yourself a break. In our school, we do lots of outdoor stuff. Whether it’s “gym class” where we pull a wagon with sports equipment to a park and learn how to hit a ball with a bat or a long nature hike or even just the three of us curled up on a couch sipping hot chocolate while I read a book aloud to them, we’re always doing more than hammering away at lessons. What’s more, I assign independent study projects they can do in their rooms, which occasionally gives me time to relax with a cup of tea.

Monitor your outside contact. I’m not saying you should cut yourself off from the world (of course not!), but the fact is that things like social media and news headlines can really create a kind of us-versus-them bunker mentality. The more content things are at home, the scarier the outside world can seem. Don’t let that happen. We don’t want our kids to be frightened of the world. Try to keep it positive. Keep in touch with friends and family (maybe have them join you from time to time). Think about connecting with other homeschoolers.

What is homeschooling like?

I can only talk about my own experience, so here goes:

I should point out that none of this is written in stone; our days vary considerably from day to day. For instance in the dead of winter, outdoor time is usually replaced by a lesson, so we have two per day. Note that at every step, whether we’re indoors or out, I work with the kids to ensure they really grasp the material. I emphasize the academic fundamentals of reading, writing and math, so it’s mostly about correcting spelling and grammar and repeating instructions on math steps.

It goes without saying that all of this requires considerable preparation time. For reading and writing, I assign book reports and research projects, based on works and subjects I hope they’ll be interested in. I also assign book reports based on whatever I’m reading to them during our morning reading time.

As a rule of thumb, each hour of learning time generally requires at least an hour of preparation time. That’s where the numbers start to add up. There are some things that don’t require as much prepping, such as the use of worksheets, but I try to limit use of those things; they’re excellent practice but I find they don’t expand knowledge.

Do you need to be a “professional” teacher to homeschool?

Full disclosure: Technically, I’m a certified teacher. To be precise, my certification is in teaching communications technology to high schoolers. I have no training in teaching reading, writing or math to elementary school students. In fact my certification has a very narrow application where I live.

There are definitely times where I find my training comes in handy, especially when it comes to creating lesson plans. There is also big-picture knowledge that has really helped me, such as understanding how the human mind learns, and learns to learn. Teachers are highly-trained professionals, and they work hard to get that certificate.

But do you need professional qualifications to homeschool? In my opinion, no. You don’t.

All the resources you need are available, often for free, including tips on how to teach your kids. There will almost certainly be a learning curve for you, the teacher, as you figure out how to get knowledge into your kids’ skulls. And you will figure it out. In fact, there’s even a chance that you will gain such insight into how your children learn that you’ll watch them leap far ahead of what you might have thought possible. It could be not just a great learning experience, but a great bonding experience, too.

So there we are. Should you homeschool? It’s up to you. I hope that I have given you food for thought. If you’ve been on the fence, maybe this will help get you closer to a decision.

In future posts, we’ll take a closer look at realistically creating and maintaining a physical space for your homeschooling (no idealized Pinterest portraits, I promise). We’ll also discuss learning resources, teaching methods, lesson plans and activities, as well as various educational theories that might come in handy.

Till then, keep learning!