Finding My Way Back To Writing
Overcoming Writer’s Blues
I’ve been feeling out of sorts lately, and my writing has suffered because of it. A few days ago, it culminated with a five-minute meltdown.
During those intense 300 seconds, it felt like my world was crashing down on me. I found myself questioning my writing abilities and whether I put enough effort into improving. And despite knowing I shouldn’t, I compared myself to other writers I knew, which only made me feel worse and deepened the hole I had dug for myself.
Luckily, it didn’t take me too long to get out of that bout of Writer’s Blues.
What is Writer’s Blues?
I’ve experienced my fair share of writer’s block over the years, but writer’s blues is a different challenge altogether. It creeps up on you slowly, rears its ugly head suddenly then retreats to hide in the shadows — ready to strike at a moment’s notice.
Hello, Writing Blues, My Old Friend
I could say it’s been a few months since I felt this way, but truthfully, this feeling of not being good enough has been my “old friend”. It’s been there ever since I started writing professionally in 2008 when I accidentally landed my first job as a journalist for a newspaper.
I’ve always liked to write, and I had a flair for writing, ever since I was a teenager. But to write news articles about politicians’ viewpoints, drainage, irrigation, and other fundamental issues Malaysians faced? That was tough. So tough that, two months into the job, I was already on the lookout for another one, believing that I would never make it at the news desk.
God had other plans for me, which included writing, and I was chosen to join the lifestyle desk after a colleague left. And boy did things change 180 degrees!
I wrote movie, concert, book, and food reviews, interviewed actors, directors, and artists like Jason Mraz, Ne-Yo, and Andrea Bocelli; went on a hot air balloon ride, made moon cakes and extracted strawberry DNA. I also took a group photo with Lady Gaga, expanded my musical tastes by attending the Rainforest World Music Festival, and experienced many firsts in life.
Though my confidence levels were soaring high then, there was often a voice in my head telling me that I wasn’t as good a writer as I thought. And that people would find out soon enough.
I would never re-read my articles after they were published until some time had passed, and this is a habit that I continue today.
Luckily, I always managed to push that voice out of my head, at least momentarily.
Hiding Behind The Shadow of Satisfaction
After three years in the newsroom, I went on to work freelance, writing coffee table book articles, then was asked to join full-time as a writer for a branding foundation.
There, I learned to write longer articles. Branding was an interesting subject for me, and I took on the challenge of writing articles from 1000 to 5000 words with enthusiasm.
I won’t lie; there was a sense of satisfaction every time I finished writing an article. And it was a wonderful feeling to see my byline on the printed copy of a magazine, especially if it was a cover story.
After using my word-stringing abilities as a Senior PR Executive, Chief Content Officer, and Freelance Writer, here I am in 2024, a full-time Copywriter and writing on Medium.
Still, my “old friend” pays me visits occasionally, just like it did last week. I hear its voice when I read other people’s interesting pieces or when I am writing team-building articles at the office.
“Why can’t you manage your time better so you can write more like others?”
“No one’s going to read your work anyway, so you don’t have to try so hard.”
“You’re just a mediocre writer; there are so many more talented writers than you out there.”
While professionally, one would say that I am successful, the same can’t be said for my own, personal writing. I remember the humorous environmental story I wrote with so much love when I was 12, only to find out that it wasn’t a part of the school magazine. As an adult, none of my fiction stories were published in the anthologies I submitted to either.
But when I reflect on my personal writing failures in life, I also think about the screenplay I wrote during my university days in Melbourne, Australia. It was my biggest and best achievement in academics — getting an A minus for the assignment.
Sometimes, all you need is a small, magical moment, and that moment can help you push on and try harder. And it is the memory of getting that A minus, for writing a script that was close to my heart, that fills me with hope, and helps me get past the dreaded writer’s blues.
While my writing journey may be unpredictable, I know I will continue to write and do my best to be a better writer every day. And try to keep writer’s blues at bay!
Some info about writer’s blues:
The symptoms usually begin as writer’s block and then escalate into various other states.
- Emotional State: Writer’s blues hits you with a sense of frustration, self-doubt, and lack of motivation.
- Productivity: It doesn’t necessarily stop you from writing, but it can slow down productivity. It might be more difficult for you to write and when you do, you feel less satisfied with your writing.
- Symptoms: You experience a feeling of inadequacy, self-doubt about the quality of your work, and persistent doubts. You may also feel uninspired or disconnected from the writing process.
- Duration: It can be ongoing or appear on and off, and is often linked to personal feelings and external stress factors.
- Resolution: Writer’s blues may require addressing underlying emotional and psychological issues. It also helps to find new sources of inspiration or taking a break to rejuvenate.
Have you suffered from Writer’s Blues?
If you’re going through writer’s blues or find it difficult to put your thoughts on the page, don’t worry, things will get better. Take some time to remember that small, magical moment in your writing journey, think about how it felt and you’ll be back on the writing path once again.
Hello, I’m Anu! I appreciate you taking the time to read this piece. If you liked this story, please give it lots of claps, highlight what you enjoyed, and comment to share your thoughts.
Enjoy Reading, Keep Writing & Have a Fantastic Day!
