How I Met Your Father And Also the Forty Guys I Slept With Before Him
By Val Bodurtha
Hey kids, did I ever tell you about the time I met your father? …I have? Okay, well how about the ten to fifteen years before I met him that I was single in New York and 100% open for business?
Ah, such vivid memories of those times. I was working in the big city, dreaming day and night of meeting my soulmate. I searched every dive bar, every warehouse rave, and every open mic in town for the one. I didn’t know it then, but I was on a journey. Everything I experienced had to happen in order for me to meet your father. That’s how I’m going to justify telling you all of this in full, shocking detail.
The year was 2022, and I was living in the West Village. I loved that neighborhood because there were so many adorable cafes where I could sit, sipping tea, reading poetry books, and hoping some young man might ask me about one of the titles. Also, my landlord gave me half-off rent because I let him install a shower camera. Did I think my landlord was the one? No, but I don’t say no when Cupid comes calling! And hey, if my roommates knew about the arrangement, they didn’t ask any questions.
Anyway, I was 100% focused on finding true love, unwavering and undeterred by the naysayers. After all, those people at the sex addiction center were…
