I bought some new trainers and now my personal Vietnam is over

I have some NMD’s and now everything feels like it’s gonna be alright, yeah?

I bet most of you remember important things in your life. Losing your V. The first time you heard the Beatles. That kinda shit.

I genuinely think one of the strongest memories of the last couple of years was the first time I laid eyes on some Adidas NMD’s. Obviously because of their objective beauty, they sold out in like a second. I’ve been watching them on ebay for the last year like a jealous ex, lusting, crying and hovering around some dodgy-as-fuck warehouse sites. And now I have a pair. I literally paid full price for a pair of trainers, like your da does.


I don’t want to labour the point, but this has been the longest I’ve waited for anything. Is this what happiness is? Waiting a year for a pair of trainers and then getting them? I think I feel happy.

In some ways, my self-restraint in not dropping £200+ on a pair on eBay is more heroic than a soldier or a fireman. Instagram accounts should be created in my memory, screenshotting my hovering cursor over “Bid now” buttons — accompanied by soundbites of me muttering expletives about how mental it is that shoes can be limited edition.

But my wait is over. I have reached peak trainer. I will wear NMD’s. I am an NMD man.

To be honest though, I’m going to step in fucking mud the first time I wear them, aren’t I? Christ.