The Classic “Will they, won’t they?”

It’s kind of a strange thing, when I think about the Clippers. I grew up a Warriors fan, so I remember the awful Elton Brand years. When their biggest accomplishment was Corey Maggette getting to the line like 15 times a game. It was the Lakers and Suns who ran the Pacific division in my early years as a basketball fan, and Nash and Kobe were my Freddy and Jason. Even the Kings had that nice little run with Bibby and Webb back in the early 2000s. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I didn’t grow up hating the Clippers, because you can’t hate bad teams.

The Clippers and Warriors kind of shared a special bond amongst bottom feeders of the division. It was the shortened season of 2011–12 that they ushered in the “Lob City” era, and I learned to hate Blake Griffin’s face. They quickly became a perennial favorite every year to make a deep playoff run, and each year proved experts wrong, never even having made it to a conference finals. That to me is a mindfuck, considering the talent they’ve had. During this stretch, they’ve had size, outside shooting, a perennial floor general, all led by a good coach with championship pedigree. They’ve even had everyone’s favorite sixth man, Jamal Crawford. Maybe the biggest tragedy of it all, is they’ve blue balled my boy Billy Crystal, who considers himself a die hard Clippers fan/sado masochist. It’s also just been fun to see the Lakers be the number two team in their own city for so long, and I don’t wanna see that change.

Maybe the Clippers are like that couple whose fuck style was buck wild, but lacked in the areas that contribute to a long lasting meaningful relationship. They were undeniable in bed, but couldn’t talk about their dreams and aspirations, and connect on a deep level. This offseason will be interesting to see who goes and who stays. I’m sure the doughy red faced Steve Ballmer will shamelessly whore himself out to keep guys like Griffin and Paul. I’m always down to see an old corny white dude try to connect with young black guys, as the opportunities for entertainment are endless. If the big pieces don’t come back, it will be the end of an era. I won’t be sad, because I’m not a Clippers fan. However, I am a fan of greatness, and the Clippers have been a huge tease in that department for all basketball fans.