Even More Facts That Will Astonish!

In our ongoing mission to educate people about the world in which we live, The Howling Monkey presents yet another installment of Facts That Will Astonish! Following is a list of facts about the animal kingdom, and each of these facts is potentially true!

  1. Shelties are not small Collies. They are tiny emus.
  2. Dung Beetles are named for Dung Zhou, who holds the world record for eating the most such beetles in 10 minutes. Previously they were Larry Beetles.
  3. The average Blue Whale eats four million Krill a week. Some also have a piece of cake.
  4. Most penguins mate with one partner for life, except for saucy penguins who mate with two.
  5. The largest spider in the world is the South American Goliath Bird Eating Spider, which is large enough to scare you silly, let me tell you!
  6. Ostriches can not fly. At least not since stricter TSA regulations went into effect.
  7. Chimps share 95 percent of their DNA with Ed Asner.
  8. Tigers are not native to Africa. They are from Spain.
  9. If you cut off a starfishes “arm” it will grow back, but you are still a big jerk for doing it.
  10. The average Cockatoo lives to be 80 years old and has a vocabulary of about 50 words, which means they will be quite tiresome for about 79 years.
  11. A Zebra is a member of the Horse family. Horses are members of the Badger family.
  12. Despite literature to the contrary, Cats do not like to wear hats. Or make up stupid names for nonsensical vehicles.
  13. The average Housefly gives birth to 125 young at a time, but it only likes around 30 of them.
  14. Roly Polies can curl into a ball for protection. Also it can murder you savagely with it’s lethal psionic abilities. By the way, whatever happened to Roly Polies? I used to see them all the time. I don’t know when the last time I saw one was. People should worry about them instead of bees.
  15. Most camels do not, in fact, smoke. Some do use snuff.

Originally published at www.thehowlingmonkey.com on March 20, 2013.

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