Why There Should Be A “Daily-Feats Olympics”
We glorify men and women being able to swim 800metres or run 100metres in record time. We glorify men and women able to do leap and prance across a gymnastics floor. We glorify men for having such big muscles that they can lift reallllly heavy bars, do a pose, then drop them again. We glorify women for rowing a boat across a serene lake reallllly fast.
We have a fascination with muscles and speed. But what about the extraordinary feats of ordinary people, every day, that also boast incredible strength, endurance, agility and time-shortcutting?
I’m talking about us folk who do the really hard shit in life. Y’all know exactly what I’m talking about.
Like doing the weekly shopping while your 2year old child is about to tear the supermarket down with a tantrum? Do you know the second-by-second dynamic mental juggling required to do this?
Or the pushing of a full trolley with a wonky wheel one-handed while concealing a breastfeeding baby, so every second person isn’t staring at your popped-out boob. Do you know how much hand-eye coordination is involved? Korean gamers got nothin’ on us.
Or the dash to work in peak hour traffic, weaving expertly and safely through the traffic without pissing other cars off, to get to your destination a whole five minutes early, thus avoiding glares by the boss and smirks by other employees? This is real life pod-racing, I swear.
Or moving house within 3hours which is the time allowed for the U-haul trailer you’ve hired to get your 3 bedroom house’s worth of shit to the new place?
Or how to get a man to do what you want him to do, all the while keeping his ego intact and leading him to believe that it was his idea in the first place? Like the gold effort by Maria and Aunt Voula in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, for the love of god, go and watch the movie!).
Or the incredible ability to subtly manoeuvre all different parts of your body so that in peak hour train passenger crowds, you are touching as little of people’s body parts as possible while crammed into the carriage? Do you know how much intensely focused concentration is involved for all people concerned?
Or getting two kids and two adults ready for school/work in the mornings, minus time required for driving with only one car as the other has to be put into the mechanics for a service by 9am? Logistical professionalism at its best.
Or cleaning the whole house at the last minute on Christmas morning, while preparing the turkey and accompaniments, squeezing in last minute present wrapping before all the family arrives without a huge family-wide screaming match? Do you know how difficult a task this is? The person who can achieve this, truly is a Champion in my eyes.
And we can’t go past one of the seemingly most difficult everyday challenges that most people have yet to master – reverse parallel parking. Maybe for the few that can, in the finals we throw them in a $200,000 car to raise the stakes, ey ey?
I would like to see that. Everyday Olympics – the next reality show. Who’s with me?
