Contemplation
In The Stillness
between breaths
At the beginning I used to look for something in between the breaths. Often it was some quiet peace, a composed calm or a little unperturbed serenity. Instead, I was almost always confronted with agitated feelings, wavering thoughts and a drifting mind. I would then declare my sitting unsuccessful despite knowing better off the wise men and women who have traversed the depths of a single breath.
Now I know just to sit for what arrives. Sometimes, I then get an absolute stillness devoid of any clutter, chatter or colour, but one that is conspicuously loud in its depth. A depth with an irrefutable vigour and potential that can be channeled in any direction I wish.
Often this is what I tap into and harness for focusing in the busier hours of the day. Not the attentive focus where I’m able to accurately recall the gist of a tedious work presentation lasting 2 hours, but the inspirational focus that drives me spontaneously onto something more that can be created/manifested out of what I’ve retained from all that focusing.
The ability to focus is different from effortlessly focusing on something with passion and being inspired to make something worthier out of it. The former can be achieved with effort in the right direction whilst the latter just happens. Or doesn’t.
I can write poetry on a good day. Actually, I write better poetry on bad days. But on days where stillness between breaths gives me depth, I do not write at all. I merely follow what the mind plays out in its unhinged empowerment. There’s no preconceived notion of a theme, plot, imagery or an agenda— just a few likable words, some blurred imagery, and an intense empathy for the unknown subject. In the end, no one is as thrilled as I am at having read something I didn’t set out to write!
And, therein lies the wonder of stillness!
In reality, good days, bad days, the weather, schedules, feelings, circumstances, people —anything and everything plays a part in determining the quality of our day. It is quite a feat, then to be able to navigate through the hours switching focus from one task to another, from one moment to the next.
This is of course no big deal for the stoic elite. For them, remaining stoic and nonchalant comes effortlessly. That is by virtue of their inherent nature, I suppose. But for some of us the lesser mortals — the drama queens (and the kings!) so used to “reacting” to Life, this calls for much effort, diligent practice and infinite patience —(all of which are still worth the price to pay for the haste, if you ask me!).
Or else, we could just practice more of sitting still between the breaths.
