Directing my first feature film: Days 3–5 and we’re halfway there baby!
Forgive me father (and readers), for I have sinned. It has been over a week since I last blogged about directing feature film ‘Moving Ashley.’
Honestly, I was just too darn exhausted to do it after days 3 and 4. It was our first weekend shooting back-to-back days and I’ll tell you what — not having that one day a week to get your own life in order is really a killer.
When you weekend-warrior a feature film, it is like running on full speed all the time for months with no end in sight. So having 1 day off to ya know, do laundry and go pick up prescriptions and like regular life stuff is a must. Sounds fun right?
Actually it’s been a lot of fun, minus the emotional breakdowns, and I’ve learned invaluable lessons that I don’t think you can get from anywhere or anyone else or in a classroom. Sometimes just doing it is the best education you can get.
For simplicity, I’m clumping Days 3–5 together. Here’s some honest reflections, lessons-learned and occasional rambling:
Don’t sweat the small stuff (but do sweat detail and continuity)
I worry about lots of things. Lots and lots and lots of things. I would say maybe 70% of them don’t matter. This entire process has been teaching me to re-focus what I actually need to be worried about and what I’m just wasting energy on.
As a perfectionist, the learning curve is pretty steep and it is difficult to break a lifetime habit of obsessing over things, but it is so, so necessary. Because you can’t think about EVERYTHING with your tiny human brain.
Luckily, I have a team of people around me that have been fantastic about noticing what time the clocks are set during takes, where the boxes were set up in each scene (pictures help) and what side of the face someone’s hair was on during a shot sequence. And I know I can rely on them when my focus needs to be elsewhere.
Nobody else lives in your head with you
Several times I’ve had people point things out to me that I felt were either criticisms or pointless. The reason for that is because I know in my mind what I want the edit to look like. I have an idea of what’s going to cut where and that certain things don’t matter on certain takes.
They don’t know that. Why would they?
This has encouraged me to be even more communicative with my cast and crew.
Seriously, you can not underestimate how much talking out a scene and the shots in advance can help you have a successful shoot. Being mindful of informing people what you’re getting in this shot, why you are getting this shot and what your vision is, is crucial.
How you can identify a true professional
A friend and colleague of mine Tray Goodman just made a Facebook post saying this, “ Anyone can enjoy a good day…however the mark of a real professional….is someone who can perform at a high level..on a bad day…”
I HOPE I lived up to this two Saturdays ago because I felt like a failure.
I was not as prepared as I normally am, I was starting to experience health issues, the kid that I mentor had some unexpected life complications and she ended up needing to tag along with me for the day so that meant driving from Chandler to pick her up from downtown Phoenix and getting her breakfast before driving to Maricopa for an 8 a.m call time. And not being a parent, I had no idea how hard it is to have a kid at work or on set with you.
There were four distinct times I remember wanting to cry and just say “Ok, I’m done for today.” But I didn’t.
We soldiered on. We got our footage and finished out the day. It was challenging for me.
That night, Pat and I regrouped. We talked everything out so we could correct any of the issues that were in our control and hit the reset button.
And the next day kicked ass.
I like to think that I can hold up under pressure. That I can be that person you can count on during times when everything else is failing. I think I delivered, but honestly, sometimes you just have bad days. They’re a part of life and you are always faced with that choice — to carry on and work through it or throw in the towel.
My advice? Just pretend that towel doesn’t exist. It will be so much more rewarding in the end.
Let others learn and grow
Our boom op got sick and our PA had some personal issues to tend to so we had others step in (and step up, I might add) to fill in. Neither of these people had experience in those fields and I felt like it was a burden to ask them to do it.
But at the end of the day, I got a really nice text and had a really nice convo where both of them essentially thanked me for including them in something creative and allowing them to contribute.
It was kind a of ‘Wow!’ moment for me. I was so floored that instead of feeling burdened, these people felt grateful.
Don’t rush it and don’t skip it — Your film will suffer for it
We had the typical situations where we were shooting against time. A lot of our shots happen during the sunset hour and it’s always a challenge. We tried to rush through and just get everything even though the light was dramatically and drastically changing.
We reviewed the shots that night and nope. They didn’t work. I mean we could have used them, but it would have been a disservice to the film. So the next day we re-shot the entire scene with good light.
You also tend to get that urge at the end of the day when you’re super close to wrapping after a grueling 8 or 10 hour shoot. Don’t give in to that urge. It’s not worth damaging the integrity of your film to get an extra hour to sit on your butt. The hard work and the commitment to quality shows in the final product.
Your work is a reflection of you
I’ve been thinking about this a lot as I watch more and more indie films come out. It’s a very real possibility that this movie could be bad. Like tragically awful. But even if it is — I will be able to watch it and know why I made every decision I made and identify all of those improvement points and I can learn from it.
I may learn that I need to learn how to tell a stronger story as a director. I may learn that I don’t think about blocking enough. I may learn that what I see in my head as an edit could be really difficult for me to communicate because I am not an editor. Who knows! Maybe it will be brilliant… (Wouldn’t that be marvelous)
But my husband said this about another local filmmaker. It’s an accomplishment just to do it. To finish it. That’s HUGE. And you learn and you do better the next time and then you learn from that and get even better.
So don’t be ashamed of the work you put out. Own it. Own up to where you’re at as a filmmaker, own up to the resources you had, own up to the choices you made and own up to the final product because it’s yours in all its glory.
Like a little film baby.
And just like a baby you have to love it and nurture it and feed it and allow it time to grow. There’s no shame in being a growing, learning artist.
Be a director not a dictator.
I’m sure the hubby was joking (kinda) when he said it. But I voiced frustration about how he just sort of started directing the actors and sharing concerns about things during one scene. I felt he wasn’t being disrespectful — that he made me look unprofessional in front of the cast.
He, who has never been on a film set but is used to shooting solo as a documentary filmmaker, looked at me with such purity and said, “But we’re a team aren’t we?”
He got me again.
I realized that I was super single-sighted about following the protocol and typical hierarchy that’s normally set up during other shoots because “that’s why you’re supposed to do.” But then I realized, screw it.
Seriously, screw it.
Those protocols are set up because they work. They help bring order to the chaos, a system to the crazy and organization to a group of creatives. But if they don’t work for YOU on YOUR set, screw it.
My husband and I are a team. We do our best work together when we collaborate and share openly and honestly. We both want the same things for the film and share the same vision. It truly doesn’t matter to me if something constructive comes out of his mouth or my mouth.
For the record, when I explained to him the way it normally works on set between a DP and director he totally got it and apologized.
Don’t lose momentum
I was a little worried that I have to take this upcoming weekend off to cover an event for work. We were doing so good and we had been so consistent. But I realized this was an OK thing because it allowed me time away to get refocused and come back with a fresh pair of eyes and attitude.
During this week while not shooting, Stephen took it upon himself to create the IMDB page and possibly, hopefully, get these amazing T-shirts made for the cast and crew! Those are two things that keep me motivated so I know it will keep the others motivated too.
Just because you don’t have an active shoot day doesn’t mean you can’t be productive. Ann has been fab at posting on social. Pat is going to be pulling high resolution stills for the cast to share. All of that stuff is forward-motion.
If you liked this story and think some of the tips might be helpful for other blossoming filmmakers please give it some applause!
