Sign in

Responses to readers series

Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

Dennis Collins read and left a comment on one of the oldest pieces I wrote about my marriage struggles. He said the following:

These two lines stand out: “I have pursued my husband to start this family journey, after being together for 12 years in a stagnating relationship.” & “ Two years later, I managed to make him agree to try for a child.” Had I been coaching him I would have explored does he really want to be in this relationship, and why would he get married let alone have a kid in a long term stagnate relationship.


I’m furious.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

If you’re a wife and a mother like me, you’ve probably heard this one too. Not necessarily with these words, but your husband might have said something similar when confronted with your rage.

‘But I haven’t done anything wrong. Why are you acting like this?’

I don’t know about you, but I get a visceral reaction when I hear him playing this card. My instant response would be to hit him with something and get it over with (there’s a good reason I’m in therapy, I admit it). Still, I’d like to believe that my frustration with him is understandable…

What should I answer? Or, should I, at all?

Photo by Oleg Ivanov on Unsplash

It wasn’t really a question, and this annoyed me. He made a statement in a text message after I left his bedroom to go to mine to sleep. He mentioned several times that he missed a touch during the last few days. I could see it too by his childlike attempts to get in my proximity, either by rubbing my back, which he dreads normally doing or by “randomly” bumping into me as we were going about with our days.

So I knew it was about time.

After I put our son to sleep, I went to his bedroom to…

This story is not about my husband; it’s about how to capitalize on your driving force.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

This story is about how writing about topics that you never imagined would make the balls rolling will, in fact, become the most lucrative for you. The realization doesn’t even make me proud, but it sure does pay the bills—my therapy bills, to be more exact.

Writing for the right reasons pays off.

When I started writing on Medium, I did it to complement therapy. The writing was an excellent creative outlet to manage my anger, which is partly due to my husband’s irresponsible behavior as a partner and my personal history. For all practical purposes, Anger was a central emotion in my life.

Since I couldn’t…

Divorce is for quitters, and I’m a winner

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

What I will say next may sound strange to some, unrealistic for others, or downright shocking for the rest of you. I stopped having a relationship with my husband long before I decided to have a child. Actually, it happened even before we got married. So if there were any chances of calling it quits, it would have happened before we became parents. But I wasn’t stupid.

I met my husband when I was very young, insecure, and lost. He was there for me when I grew up, as best as he could. He was never the affectionate type, even…

As a family grows, personal time starts to diminish considerably, until it becomes almost non-existent.

Photo by Lukas Blazek on Unsplash

The constant fighting for more personal time.

Ever since I became a mother, I had to constantly negotiate for as little as one hour of personal time. It is so frustrating having to justify time for needs, as simple as making food, taking a shower, calling a friend, doing a workout, or showing up for work. There’s no surprise, thus, that many new parents end up in a very complicated place, to put it lightly.

I was not expecting this from him.

We discussed arrangements before-hand and we agreed that we will share the responsibilities with our son. Taking care of a baby, it’s not an easy job. For both parents, having another individual…

A story about resilience

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

My husband and I have been together for almost 16 years. However, we’ve only been married for four years and became parents during primo 2019.

My entire relationship was defined by me dragging him in a direction that makes sense for two people who have committed to each other. I have never pushed him for more than the ordinary: get a decent job, get a car, get a house, get married, have children. …

The Husband Chronicles

As told by the wife

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store