An NLP win-win technique for relationships
Neurolinguistic programming is a fancy word for a simple self-care technique
Want to use a simple technique for improving your relationships? This is a neurolinguistic programming (NLP) technique that involves “values elicitation,” “calibration,” and “mirroring.” You don’t have to remember the fancy terms…just the technique itself.
(I originally found this in a huge volume of work by hypnotist and mentalist Jerome Finley called Thought Veil).
Step one: Simply ask your partner: _______, where would you rate our relationship on a scale from one to ten with ten being the best?
Let’s say your partner says “I guess about an eight.”
Step two: Then ask: “What are you needing from me to make this relationship a ten?”
Then your partner thinks about it and says something like, “Well, I need A, B, and C from you and then we’d be at a ten.”
Step three: You respond by saying: “So what you’re saying is, (repeat back what he or she said), is that what you’re saying?”
Step four: After your partner agrees, follow up with: “And I hear you, _______. What I commit to is (A, B, and C) and THAT is what you can expect from me!”
Then you make some simple changes in each area to accommodate your partner over the next week or so. You don’t have to make Herculean efforts to change, just enough for them to notice.
After a week or so, you simply ask again, “Where would you rate our relationship on a scale from one to ten now? Hopefully you’ll get a ten.
You can do this from time to time to help maintain a happy relationship by showing that you care about your partner’s needs and are willing to give him or her what is needed.
This isn’t just for romantic relationships. It can strengthen friendships and boss/employee relationships as well, by simply following the same structure, and responding as needed. It’s important not to deviate from the steps above (such as repeating back to them what they said). The language and actions all serve a purpose even if you don’t notice it right away.
You can learn more about NLP for persuasion and influence by checking out Hypnotic Language: NLP Techniques For Persuasion Skill Mastery And Total Conversational Influence by Alice Hayes on Amazon.
Originally published at greaterhoustonhypnosis.com on April 16, 2018.
