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My Gay and Trans Identity Isn’t a Little Magic Saltshaker
But it is nonetheless a favorite TV show, so keep tuning in!
Recently, in “Am I the Right Kind of Gay and Trans for You?” (Prism & Pen, January 7), I talked about a common perception that queer people emphasize our identities in the wrong ways: we play it up, we play it down, either way we do it too much.
There, I told a story: Years ago, in a typical bio submitted along with a poem or personal essay, “I might say I was a ‘gay transsexual’…An older straight guy once challenged me on this. Why is your identity relevant, he asked.”
Now I want to give you a continuation of that story.
People Want to Monetize Others’ Identities
The same straight guy who once recommended that I not say “gay transsexual” in my writer’s bio, just because he couldn’t see why it was relevant or important? Not long afterward, he wanted me on a group project where I was to identify myself as gay and trans because he imagined that this would score diversity points for him, helping his project find a publisher and be better received.
Reflecting on this years later, I wondered if he felt envy. Perhaps he thought I was getting prestige from citing my identity, and he wanted to access that prestige for himself? Maybe, but he knew perfectly well that my scribbling “gay transsexual” next to my photo in a zine gained me only artistic satisfaction, so that interpretation of his behavior doesn’t satisfy me.
This one feels more true: He thought I was doing “it” wrong and he could do “it” better. He perceived me as failing on my own to alchemize my identity labels into money and prestige for myself, and he hoped that if we teamed up, we’d both gain.
In economic terms, that might sound like a fair arrangement. Economists are forever pointing out how people team up for mutual gain.
But I don’t think of my identity labels in economic terms. I didn’t choose to be gay and trans for money and prestige. I just am gay and trans, and it isn’t for any purpose.
