I Have Reached the Mountain Top
Nothing has really changed
I can’t tell how many posts I have read on Medium from trans people who have recently (within the last four to five years) come out of the closet and trans women who have started living full-time. The posts are pretty much all the same or follow the same storyline. Sure, there are differences here and there, and they all like to think they are unique, but people being people, the storylines are like rom-coms. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, in the end, boy gets the girl. Trust me, I have the same story.
I read these posts hoping to find the one that figures it out or is realistic about life ever after within the first year or so. The trans person who does the deep dive with their therapist and comes to the realization that they have always been trans and who they are is who they are; nothing really changes. The trans woman who looks in the mirror and realizes early on that HRT and surgery will only do so much and who they are is who they are; nothing really changes.
What I mean by “nothing really changes” is we as people never really change. I am reminded of what my first therapist said back in 2001, “if you dress shabbily as a man, you will dress shabbily as a woman.” “If you are rude and unkind as a man, you will be rude and unkind as a woman.” Years later, I find those words more valid today…
