The First Proposition

Inner peace, desired by many yet found by a few. I often refrain from describing it as a “need” due to the uncertainty of its sustenance. Figuring out the correct path to take is never easy, and I often feel like there isn’t a path. I follow, moving and dancing to the tune of uncertainty; rarely by choice but often with contentment.

Unfortunately, the contentment is fleeting. How often do I drift into nihilism? Enough to sound like Zarathustra. Speaking of Zarathustra, What is it with prophets and crowds? A larger audience for a certain judgement? That’s not a fair trade. Discourses I’ve always felt were better in small circles. The crowd follows, moving and dancing to the tune of the speaker, but the curiosity is often ephemeral. I have digressed unfortunately, I’ll save this topic for another time.

Nihilism: swimming in an ocean of vanity seldom enjoying the rain. I’ve talked about inner peace and a proper path, but that’s half the story. The other half is apathy. Getting tired of things is a speciality of mine. Following a path has always been tiresome for me, hence my belief that I have no path. People are always confident when they say, “at the end of every tunnel is a little light”. Is this a certainty? No, mostly hope that everything will be fine someday.

I think humans need more certainty, but they get bored in its presence. So what do people want in life? I for one have always wanted my own little house in the countryside, a haven of my own. Will it help me sustain my inner peace? I can’t say. I mean, is being alone in a house with my thoughts a good thing though? Maybe my dream is a drop of fuel for a nightmare.

Yes, “sustain my inner peace” as I believe I already have it. The apathy people see is my inner peace. “Calm is my soul, and clear, like the mountains in the morning. But they think I am cold, and a mocker with fearful jokes.” Said Zarathustra once he was done with the crowd. Ah yes, the irrational crowd, quick to judge and full of contempt. While in their midst, the deviant best be wary. Once again I digress, but not without purpose.

Inner peace and Apathy, who draws the line? I guess I’ll pause for now, lest I stray into unrefined thoughts.