Goosuary 14, Goose-year 888

Is Detective Gooseeto a Werewolf?

Reported by Ms Papa Razzi from Goose Nook

Crying Wolf. Detective Gooseeto (second goose from right) seen with the members of a werewolf cult.

ShutterGoose has struck again. The residents of Goose Nook were once more goose-kicked into shock this Monday morning when the anonymous photographer left leaked pictures of a gaggle of geese communing with a wolf. Although the monochromatic image taken on a cloudy night makes the kooky geese hard to pinpoint, Detective Gooseto can be identified through her distinctive flathead and razor-beak. Once again, the brain-scrambling pictures were left at the doorsteps of some Goose Nook residents (presumably by the photographer herself).

This has been another hard-flapping Monday and the residents are still reeling. Last Monday, ShutterGoose had exposed (the now absconding) Mayor Gooseworth eating chicken biryani. At the time, Detective Gooseeto had come to the disgraced politician’s rescue, asking Nook geese not to fly to conclusions and raised doubts over the veracity of the photographs. ShutterGoose seems to have taken the jab personally.

Residents expressed shock that a goose would have anything to do with a wolf. “What were they doing?” asked Flying Dutchgoose, the famous long- distance flier. “Were they howling at the moon? Trying to become werewolfs? IT WAS A FULL MOON NIGHT! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? THEY MIGHT HAVE ENDED UP EATING ALL OF US!”

“Were they… trying to become werewolves? IT WAS A FULL MOON NIGHT! THEY HAVE ENDED UP EATING ALL OF US!”
- FLYING DUTCHGOOSE

Scientists have confirmed that it is not, in fact, possible to turn into a wolf by howling at the moon. Professor Goosebrain, a biologist at the University of Goose Nook, ended up cackling on the floor when asked to comment. “Is he serious? Dutchgoose must be loosing his head. Whatever those geese were doing, they were not going to turn into wolves, or any creature other than a dead goose. And what was this photographer doing following them around? Was she a wolf fan too?”

An angry mob assembled outside the disgraced detective’s home, hoping to get answers. They even had a wedge of geese flying above the house to prevent another flying escape (like the Mayor’s). However, the angry birds seem to have forgotten the fact that geese swim.

At 11am, likely after a long night (tired after all the howling?), Detective Gooseeto was seen swimming away on River Goosewater, which happens to flow just outside the detective’s home. Before disappearing, she had cried out, “THIS IS A CONSPIRACY! LOOK AT ALL THE GEESE!” The crowd (hardly surprising considering the nature of the event) had no intention of listening to the goose who had cried wolf.

Wolf Howl. Detective Gooseeto (circled in red) can be seen with a wolf. Perhaps howling at the moon? Although not visible in the image, it was a full moon night.

As with the Mayor, Chief Justice Goose Gazooka claims there are no laws against speaking with wolves. “Besides,” she said, “the picture is hardly crystal clear. We are in the dark.”

Goose News, however agrees with the residents that the flathead is hard to fake. Let’s hope the detectives are not still on a wild goose chase. ShutterGoose seems to have had her revenge. The question is, will she strike again? Next Monday might hold the answer.

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