Interview with James Cameron

I visited movie legend James Cameron at his Pacific coast home to chat with him about his incredible body of work.

Me:
You’ve been part of so many tremendous films. Has there been one that while you were working on it, you just knew it would be huge?

Cameron:
Do you know how big the Titanic is? It’s big man. I think you can put like 30 Buffalo Wild Wings in there. And you ever notice how big those are? They got a TV in there that’s like a million inches. And that’s how big that friggin’ boat is.

Me:
You’re one of the most successful filmmakers of all time, what would you say is the project you’ve been most proud of?

Cameron:
T2…

Me:
I can’t begin to tell you how much I loved that movie as a kid.

Cameron:
Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish?
Cameron says this as an impersonation of Dana Carvey’s impersonation of former US presidential candidate Ross Perot.

Me:
Oh, I’m sorry. Please.

Cameron:
T2 3-D: Battle Across Time.

Me:
Is that the Universal Studios attraction?

Cameron:
You bet your friggin’ little dick it is. Is there a problem?

Me:
No, no problem. It’s just an interesting choice.

Cameron:
Why? 3D is like the ultimate kind of movie. If I didn’t do that I never would have done Avatar.

Me:
There are four Avatar sequels planned as follow-ups to the first installment that you directed. This is an ambitious plan for an equally ambitious film. Will you have the time or the energy to work on any other projects?

Cameron:
First of all numb-nuts, I wrote, directed, produced and co-edited Avatar. How about you at least check the first line in the Wiki entry before talking to me about it? Secondly, I’m sponsored by 5-Hour Energy so that’s not going to be an issue for me. I’ve got a fridge in my man-cave, which is my entire house by the way, filled with it. And yes, it’s a friggin’ hockey fridge with a sick NHL logo on the side because hockey is cold. In terms of the time, time is just a human construct, man. It doesn’t exist. Do you listen to Joe Rogan? Obviously not.

Me:
Is there a project you wished you had worked on?

Cameron:
The Entourage movie. I had a pitch that Vince and the boys would have to go back to Queens Blvd and to take care of some kind of family junk. And it would be them being used to the high-life in California but now having to live in middle class Queens.

Me:
But Manhattan is pretty glamorous. Wouldn’t they just hang out there?

Cameron:
Nah.

Me:
Was there anything else there you wanted to explore?

Cameron:
Turtle falls in love with a female turtle. But it’s like a real turtle.

Me:
My final question is, why do you do it? You could easily retire into a very comfortable life. What keeps you going?

Cameron:
I love film. I am film. When I’m humping my wife, whom I love, and I’m just balls deep in her, because she’s a 10 by the way, and I shoot my load, a bunch of 35mm film comes out. It’s friggin’ Gone With the Wind all over my bedroom. It’s cool.

I later found that the man I was speaking with was indeed named James Cameron and indeed looked incredibly similar to the famous director but was not. It was another dude. My bad.