Rockstar Energy Drink Unveils New Denis Leary Themed Cigarette Flavor
LAS VEGAS, NV — Fans of energy drinks and angry comics are in for a real mouth treat. Rockstar Energy Drink has announced a promotion with the new FX show Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll featuring ‘tell-it-like-it-REALLY-is’ comedian cum ‘tell-it-like-it-REALLY-is’ actor Denis Leary.
The new flavor, named Den-ash Leary is said to provide “the heat and spice of Fireball brand cinnamon liqueur blended with smooth, rich flavor of premium Virginia tobacco”.
“There’s a lot of layers to this.” said Rockstar Director of PR Stanch Manfriend as he pulled back the curtain for a small peak behind the new flavor’s inception. “He’s a fiery redhead with a spitfire delivery, he loves smoking and he was the main fireman in that FX show about firemen… I can’t remember the name.” Manfriend was confident the flavor would resonate with it’s audience. “We think the Leary heads out there will get it.”
Focus groups described it as “an unexpected but addicting French kiss from one of America’s most beloved misanthropes”.
“It was a no brainer!” exclaimed FX marketing director Fish Twobone. “It came to me during one of my famous Mounds runs to 7–11.” Twobone continued ”You see we have this new show called Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll starring Denis Leary as a rockstar and there’s an energy drink called Rockstar. My mind was so wrapped up in the idea I accidentally bought an Almond Joy, which is gross so I threw that shit out.”
Leary broke out into the mainstream with the hit comedic song “Asshole” in which he recites the numerous ways people shouldn’t like him, prompting thousands of other social pariahs to become self aware and embrace their respective unfavorable traits. Since then Mr. Leary has inhaled the intoxicating nicotine of public adoration and exhaled the sweet smoke of an acting career. His past roles include the cop from The Thomas Crown Affair, the main fireman from FX’s fireman show and perhaps most memorably, the “cigar the size of Cincinnati” guy in Demolition Man.
Fans can look forward to “OD-ing” on episodes of Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll available now via On Demand.
