The Devil’s Assistant

Matthew Donnellon
Mar 10, 2020 · 4 min read

The first day of work was always stressful. I mean you never know what to expect, and you’re worried things things you could wrong.

The first day at this job was downright terrifying. I mean I should have known but sometimes curiosity will get the better of you.

I found the job the way most people do.

I was cruising the job boards when I found something interesting and didn’t look like a scam.

But it was cryptic.

But as long as I wasn’t doing something illegal I was willing to do it at this point. I couldn’t handle another day of waitressing. I mean you can only take screaming kids and getting stiffed on tips so many times before you go crazy. I was willing to do anything else. Literally anything.

The whole ad read simply:

Looking for an assistant. Long hours. Demanding boss. Pay will be worth it though.

I clicked on it and sent an email. I could do long hours. I’ve had demanding bosses.

But it was the last line that got me. I wanted to know what they considered “worth it.” I was capable of thinking up some rather large numbers.

I got a reply far quicker than I thought.

Past experience told me that was a bad thing. Usually, it meant one of two things. It was a scam or the other person was desperate.

I had dealt with far too many scams at this point and working for someone desperate didn’t seem much better. I was tempted to just delete the email altogether but something piqued my interest.

I read the message.

It still didn’t reveal a lot but, they said they wanted to move quickly and asked if I could come for an interview. I was also terribly conscious of the slowly declining number in my bank account so tossing away the first lead I’d gotten in a while seemed like a bad idea. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?

The spot wasn’t that far away and my afternoon was clear. Despite my better judgement, I went.

The office building was large, nicely furnished. It had some old money touches but was also distinctly modern. If this was where I’d be working I could get used to this.

I must admit the 666 address was a little unnerving. So was the slight smell of sulfur, and even though it was muted I was pretty sure and hear some faint screams.

Soon a man came and found me. He told me his name was Bael. He was gruff and had a grey beard and horn rimmed glasses.

He walked around like he owned the place. I assumed that this was the person I’d be assisting.

When I asked though, the man doubled over in laughter.

“Oh no, not at all, you’re boss is much higher than me,” he said.

“Then who are you?”

He paused for a second, “Let’s call it, Director of Operations.”

“And my boss is above that?”

“You boss is above everyone. Well, almost everyone.”

“Really?”

He took me to an elevator. It was strange. Even though the building was large, the elevator only went down.

“Why can’t we go up?” I asked.

“You’ll see.”

The elevator ride went on forever. We exited to a white, modern looking lobby. It wouldn’t have looked out of place in any large startup on the west coast.

As we walked, people were turning and staring.

“Why does everyone keep looking at me?”

“They aren’t used to seeing mortals.”

“Mortals?”

That’s when it started to make sense. The looks. The secrecy. That and as we walked there was a giant letters on the wall that spelled H-E-L-L.

“Wait, are we in…?”

“The Underworld? Yes.”

“And when you said that my boss was above everyone?”

“I meant you’d be working for the Dark Lord .”

“Voldemort?”

“Who?”

“Never mind. So like Devil?”

As luck would have the man himself walked into the room. He didn’t look like the devil but the way people deferred to him made him seem…regal? His had close cropped black hair and a grey vest and looked more like a stock trader than the Devil but maybe that shouldn’t be surprising.

“Is this my next appointment?” he asked.

“Yes sir.”

“Come with me.”

He took me to a conference room. It was nice, modern looking, surrounded by huge glass walls, but it was unnerving sitting there. It felt so…cold. He gestured for me to sit, and he leaned against the wall. I did what I was told.

“So you know where you are?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“And you know who I am?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Most people react more than that.”

“I’m a waitress. I’ve seen a lot.”

He laughed, “Makes sense.”

“So, you need an assistant?”

“Yes.”

“How come?”

“Because everyone else is a demon or a soul condemned to Hell. Not the most reliable workers.”

“Makes sense.”

“So I need someone I can trust to basically do all the stuff I don’t want to do.”

“What does that entail?”

“Mostly keeping my schedule. Taking my calls. And the odd torture or two.”

“I’d have to torture people?”

“I like to take a hands on approach but sometimes I get bored. So if I don’t want to do it.”

“I don’t think I could torture someone.”

“Did I mention your starting salary?” he snapped his fingers and a piece of paper with a number on it.

I took one look as asked, “When can I start?”

Six months later I opened the door to one of the torture rooms. It took a while but I got used to the screams.

I tapped the Devil on the shoulder, “Sir, your 4 o’clock is here.”

“Ok thank you. Do you find finishing up?”

I looked at a man doomed to spend eternity waiting in line at different places.

“How can you work for him?” the man asked.

“The benefits are to die for,” I said with a smile.

Matthew Donnellon

Written by

Matthew Donnellon is a writer, artist, and sit down comedian. He is the author of The Curious Case of Emma Lee and Other Stories.

The Inkwell

A collection of Short Stories and other fiction work.

Matthew Donnellon

Written by

Matthew Donnellon is a writer, artist, and sit down comedian. He is the author of The Curious Case of Emma Lee and Other Stories.

The Inkwell

A collection of Short Stories and other fiction work.

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