I stopped drinking 274 days ago.

This is what I have learnt about myself.

My reasoning for stopping was simple. I spent my life to date searching relentlessly for a sense of fulfilment that I perceived would come exclusively from business success (I’m talking about success that means others think you are successful like doing something wow) – this journey was long and seemingly nothing I achieved on this road made me feel any more fulfilled. – I own multiple businesses with one of my best mates employing hundreds of amazing people which I am utterly proud, We’ve made products that have actually made people ‘feel’ and had critical acclaim and I’ve been more than happily married to my other bestie mate for 10 years (been with Lis for 20 years and we have two microns)

However, my life was a constant up and down inside my head. I wasn’t able to get happy. Daily downs got increasingly boring and tiring.

One day I woke, I realised that the success I craved was actually the craving of contentment and daily presence. I realised that all my drive was at the expense of my own body and mind and I realised that nothing really mattered more than feeling amazing inside.

I was actually able to control those things with a lot of hard work. It was my decision.

My bet was that if I felt amazing in myself I’d probably feel amazing and that amazing feeling would allow me to drive my business and achieve my previously desired success goals better.

What I actually learnt very quickly was that your body and mind are interlinked. A body isn’t merely there to allow me to get to work. It’s actually me, it’s actually a part of me and the more I have nurtured my body wellbeing the more awoke I have become mentally.

In short to me now, nothing actually matters as much as my focus on my own wellbeing.

Fitness comes first. Always.

Don’t underestimate how damaging drinking is for you. I mean this in regards to body and mind. Let’s assume you want to become both mentally and physically fit. Drinking alcohol means that you’ll never truly know what your true potential is. That’s a fact. (It’s not but it’s my bet)

I’m not someone who can do balance. Many people don’t drink that much and like an occasional beer or hit the pub only once a week. For me that’s not an option, I wanted to remove alcohol from my plate completely. Completely. Total flush. For me there is no reason why I’d want to have just one; as one would likely lead to two and so on. I wanted that temptation off the menu.

I don’t find it hard to switch from black to white. I didn’t slowly change I just stopped alcohol dead one day. From that moment on I didn’t feel sorry for myself or pine after it.

Those one month detox’s are a complete and utter waste of time imo – the journey of improvement only starts once you truly remove the poison from your life and commit to a new life.

I changed my mindset (hence no ‘alcohol free’ waste of time beer) and instead decided to become and ultra runner.

Therefore everything I put in my body had to make me a better ultra runner, a fitter person and therefore a more focussed human capable of finding purpose. (As an aside the reason I chose ultra running was because it teaches you to control your mind and take the control back)

Shorty after quitting alcohol I booked in for a 100km London to BrightonRunning race. It seemed so impossible to me that I had to do it. That 100km is now 4 weeks away (26th May 2018!) fuck.

Listen to me talking about my 274 days of no alcohol reflection on my daily JFDI podcast or subscribe on iTunes.

Let’s roll. This is what I’ve learnt about me. Perhaps you’d like it to apply to you.

1. I feel amazing. I don’t mean in a smug little shit way, I mean that I feel incredibly connected to my own life. It’s taken me at least this long to truly appreciate how good I actually feel. I cannot wait to start each day. In many ways this first point should be enough to make you reflect. I will say it again (I clearly still have lows btw) but percentage wise I’m literally the happiest I’ve ever ever been in my life.
2. Other than right now I don’t think about alcohol neither miss it. In fact every day I actually literally feel a huge relief when I realise I don’t need to think about alcohol ever again.
3. By focussing on me and being selfish to the extent that I only do what I want to do now (ie I won’t go to dinner parties) I’ve become happy and I’ve unlocked an even bigger empathy and appreciation for others I care about. It’s ironic but it’s wonderful.
4. I still go to parties, weddings and social nights but I see them differently and always feel amazing in the morning when I think about all the poor souls are who wake up feeling rotten. Christmas for example wasn’t about getting drunk but about making sure I was using the break to train even harder!
5. The first month you’ll be asked why you don’t drink and some people won’t ever understand but you’ll soon find out who your mates actually are. Most will likely sooner or later suggest meeting up around other activities like running or coffee etc.
6. I am continually positively overwhelmed with the realisation that I am no longer trapped. I don’t have to see any social event as a counter to my own drive to have physical and emotional performance. Life is now about a lineal journey of physical and mental improvement where as before I was having weekly (daily) bumps due to drinking.
7. It goes without saying but I’m not spending as much money as I used to! Quite literally saving hundreds of pounds a week (the knock on effect to drinking for me meant I often went out a lot for food and craved all sorts of rubbish in the morning) I now don’t feel even slightly guilty when I hire a performance running coach. (Oddly socially it seems spending money on going out and socialising is ok but spending that same money on improving your own wellbeing is frowned up or seen as a luxury.
8. I also save money on taxi’s as I drive to parties (I like driving my wife Lis to parties as I feel like I’m looking after her)I’ve got more confident.
9. I used to use alcohol as a front, as a protective barrier. Without it I had to do talks without a beer in hand. It pushed me out of my uncomfortable comfort zone and made me take on new challenges. I started a daily podcast!
10. I’m actually funny without alcohol. I can actually still curate vibe without the need for alcohol. This was a slight worry for me as I thought maybe I was only me because I drank. That wasn’t the case.
11. I don’t get invited to many ‘drinking’ social events, or pubs or dinner parties (thank god) I think this is less because people don’t want me there as a consequence of sending out different vibes. Their issue. I’m a party in my own sense so actually they’re missing out! I personally think pubs are for drinking and laughing around drinking and it’s best to hang with other drinkers. I ditched pubs and instead change my social interactions to suit me. Communities of drinkers should not want non drinkers with them!
12. I’ve become so much more curious about life, about learning and about people. This is down to my mind being so less cloudy. It might sound a bit hippy but I actually do now appreciate things like meditation, yoga and simply walking on water (I mean grass)
13. Hearing people tell me they are hungover bores me.
14. I replaced my default – turn to alcohol – when things are getting tough in life with long walks, runs and proper conversations with people. (It’s also worth noting those things are getting hard thoughts were clearly often if not always down to me being tired and anxious because I wasn’t sleeping well and hiding from problems with alcohol – remember it’s a sedative)
15. I allowed myself to get passionate about me. I gave myself a clear runway of mental clarity which I’m racing forward on. I want to discover the best me I can be. Not 10% less but actually understand who I am. To properly take of I believe you need to truly focus on that journey which means removing al barriers.
16. Clarity meant I stopped hanging around with anyone who wasn’t making me feel better or helping me feel positive. Clarity gave me the lenses to assess and to tweak. Don’t underestimate the power of this decision.
17. I got a grip of my nutrition intake and reasoned that alcohol was a poison for me and same went for processed food, meat, sweets, crisps, ice cream, etc. Everything that goes in my body is now going in to help drive the best physical and mental state I can be. Once you start to experiment with food without the constant interruption of hangovers you can rid yourself of food that doesn’t help you. Just like those friends who are not really your friends.
18. I lost weight and swelling almost instantly. I was a 92kg 6ft 2 inch human but by removing alcohol, shite food and focussing on running (running categorically improves your mental and physical wellbeing) meant I lost 27kg within 3 months to 75kg. This is happy look in the mirror weight but my racing weight is 78kg and means I can eat whatever I want (I only eat health). This is my happy weight. I will never go back to the bigger me. I actually started to understand my body and see the connection between what goes in and what happens to my body.
19. I am happier when I feel lean. Lean is where I feel connected to me and it’s what excites me every time I look in the mirror. Alcohol means bloating which didn’t mean lean. Another massive benefit to the flush.
20. I have daily highs. And I mean euphoric just start smiling for no reason at all. I put this down to me getting closer to the pasture of passion I am heading. This is perhaps the best part of my life change. I used to think I was only able to be happy when I was drinking.
21. I wake up at 5am 7 days a week as a standard. My goal is for a 4am wake as I love the hours between 4 and 6am. This morning I read a bit of a book, listened to a podcast, wrote this on the tube and hit the Frame Cardio Kettle Bell session by 6:45am. All before the day even starts! Imagine if I’d been drinking last night. Dare say I wouldn’t have been so productive.
22. My sleep has improved beyond recognition. I actually get full nights sleep and bound out of bed 7 days a week. I used to have broken sleep. Because of my fitness (I burn serious calories every day) I put my head on pillow and the very next second it’s 5am.
23. I have become obsessed on a next level with euphoric highs and by removing alcohol from my life I’m able to drink a shit load more coffee. I’m obsessed with early morning drip coffee that fuels my clear mind to new levels of appreciation for life. I can’t stop drinking break fluid.
24. I’ve noticed there are many alcohol free products on the market but I have zero interest in them and not sure why anyone would. I’m happier chewing on my cocktail sticks. (Trust me this crux works)
25. Super importantly I felt creative again. Really creative and that curiosity meant I used the extra hours I have in my day to explore things I never thought I’d appreciate (I can’t think of an example here so I’ll leave that sentence to be purposely wide)
26. I became interested in the out doors. I now often take my shoes off and walk on the grass through a Common. Or I’ll get up early so I can simply walk and talk to myself. It’s this connection with ‘life’ that is often overlooked.
27. I continually have ‘oh my god I’m actually alive moments’ where by I get knocked out of the slightly zombie like motion of life and become woke to the notion that I can actually do anything I pretty much want. That life can actually be as exciting as a computer game (I’ve only just discovered AAA gaming although I’ve only played about 20 minutes of Journey so far )
28. Conversion with everyone I talk with is on a higher level. I’m more present, (I’m actually present) and I’m able and wanting to ask far better questions of people. I therefore learn more!
29. I’m positively role-modelling daily and increasingly I see more and more people converting to a healthier lifestyle. I’ve always been told I have the positive power to influence and I now see it as my mission. I like having a purpose. I like positively influencing. Because I’m more woke I see the influence I have on others.
30. I have a purpose, and that’s to enlighten those who like me before haven’t quite clicked. I’m able to do this because I’m in the action of change and I’m feeling the daily positive effects of my not drinking.
31. Because of this purpose I’m increasingly realising that my future is about building something that enablers people to improve (as an aside because of my focus on health I naturally started focusing investment towards companies who improve the lives of others ~ TRIBE and Sanctus being two strong examples of money well spent)
32. I’ve literally actually rekindled my love for my business passion. I feel excited again and I know that excitement will fuel new focusses and new journeys.
33. I used to have a dream that was Lis (my wife) and me sitting back in our future home on the beach drinking wine and reminiscing about life. That was an actual goal. I won’t ever fulfil that goal but that’s ok because my goal now is to have daily experiences with my wife and live each day to the max.
34. I’ve fallen in love properly. I mean this in that I’ve become ultra aware just how much I took Lis for granted over the last 20 years. Every day I now feel unbelievably lucky to be with her and I put this down to the clarity I now have and the fact I actually care about myself which means I can care about others.

Get a grip. It’s actually not hard at all to stop. JFDI. I’d suggest turning tour energy to running instead. mills@ustwo.com