3 Toxic Relationship Habits People Think Are Acceptable

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” - Martin Luther King Jr.

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“A toxic relationship is like a container where you’ve stored two rotten items; items keep rotting inside, making the container (relationship) stink.“ — Jon Willimans

Most of us are aware of these toxic signs but choose to ignore and avoid them until it takes a toll on their mental health. Whenever you encounter these signs, it’s an alarm to step up, make amends, and save the relationship or separate ways mutually.

#1. Downgrading and Belittling

The individuals having these habits continually badgers and nag you about your behavior. They make fun of you and your lifestyles.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that but the really great ones make you feel that you too can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly, be that kind of a friend for your friends.”

The worst part about belittlers is that they don't care about emotions. If you break down in front of them, they will come up with, “It’s just a joke. Can’t you take that silly joke? etc.” But the fact is they aren’t kidding; just trying to cover up for their sins.

Traits of a belittler or a gaslighter are:

  • They are hypervigilant; they notice your every wrong move.
  • They’ll predict the outcomes of your task. (Last time, you burned the pancakes, so this time too, I guess the same, etc.)
  • They confuse you with their remarks. They’d contradict their statements. (e.g., Sometimes they’d ask you to serve meatballs on the spaghetti, and when you do that, they’d complain not to.)
  • They make you feel embarrassed and force you to apologize, often. (e.g., Most often, a complainer won’t demand an upfront apology but make offensive remarks.)
  • They make fun of you and your behavioral traits in private and public.
  • They intimidate you that you start self-doubting.

What you can do:

You can never deal with a belittler or a gaslighter, but you can save yourself. You can heal yourself. You will never win against a gaslighter’s fat egos, so you must try to defend yourself rather than attack.

#2. Codependency in a Relationship

I have seen this trait very closely in my family. My cousin’s partner was codependent in their relationship. I know how depressing it feels because whenever my cousin would come up to me to unload her pain, she couldn’t speak up. The worst part of this trait is codependent individuals aren’t aware of their habit because it had become a part of their personality.

  • How do I look?
  • Am I bothering you?
  • What shall I wear, cook, buy, etc.?

What you can do:

Okay, lovers in codependent relationships are not bad at all. They’re just suffering from some insecurities and jealousy issues. But they can overcome it.

#3. An Attention-Seeking Individual

As humans, everyone needs attention and appreciation from others. But excess of anything is harmful.

  • They keep interrupting your talk as they’re the worst listeners.
  • Their every conversation is about bragging and full of bravado.
  • They love creating a scene anywhere. (e.g., Even if an attention-seeker has a bad day, they’d tell the entire office about it.)
  • They lack maturity, a sense of what to speak, how much to talk, and when to say.
  • They argue a lot until they win the argument.

What you can do:

“The hunger for attention is an enemy of self-love.”― Edmond Mbiaka

Attention seeking partners are not bad or evil; they are dealing with some insecurity and self-esteem issues. Talk about it and help them recover from it first.

Final Thoughts

Despite noticing these signs, some of us choose to stay in a toxic relationship because they can’t see their lives without them. Some of us can’t tolerate the loss of time, energy, and efforts involved in the relationship.

✦A positive-minded guy with a peaceful heart ✦ I write about Life and Spirituality to solve the riddle of WhatIsInsideMe ✦ Connect on Social Media@watisinsideme

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