4 Simple Ways I Improve My Mood
A long-winded narrative to promote mental health awareness
I’ve already been feeling down the past few days. Friday night was the cherry on top. I received a call that uprooted me. Everything seemed pointless now. I cried and spiraled for several painful minutes. Then I got hungry, so I had dinner and a movie. About halfway through, I cried again. I balled my eyes out until there was nothing left to do but sleep. I would’ve cried myself to sleep too, except I was too tired from my prior crying. I was a mess.
The next day, I willed myself to get up early and start one of my projects. Right after, I drove about an hour to have lunch with friends as if nothing was wrong. I went home in time for the weekly family call. I had dinner afterward, then cried again. I watched the final half of the movie while nursing my headache, probably from crying too much. I took some medicine, then went to bed.
I almost didn’t write. But it was Saturday past 9 PM, and I committed myself. So I got up.
My life is very interesting, or I have a flair for the dramatic. There have been more bad days like this than I can count. The bad days, they don’t look the same. They don’t feel the same. Sometimes they’re due to stress, arguments, family issues, or an internal struggle. Sometimes bad days are that, bad days. Regardless, I have to endure them.
It takes significant effort, but I manage.
1, and 1, and 1, and so on
I scolded myself a lot. At the time, I thought it was laziness. Later on, I realized it was a reaction to something unpleasant. It wasn’t always evident. It could have been because of something that happened weeks ago. I thought I brushed it away, turns out it was brewing in my thoughts. My mood catches up with it.
Everything started to feel like a chore. Getting up in the morning was exhausting. I only wanted to remain hidden under the covers. I’ve tried telling myself that I needed to get things done. I listed them in my head, thinking it would help. But it only made me not want to get up even more. I started feeling tiny while my tasks grew until they are formidable, bearing me frozen.
I learned to take it one step at a time. Go to the bathroom, check. Brush your teeth, check. The key is to think of solely what you need to do next. Choose a topic, check. Write an opening sentence, check.
Break everything down to pieces. Smaller tasks are less intimidating. They are undemanding, which makes them easier to do. Count each one as a victory. And if something goes wrong, that’s one loss compared to the 10 you’ve already won so far.
The day doesn’t seem so futile anymore.
“Me” time
Are you familiar with the first few lines of the Serenity Prayer?
Religious beliefs aside, there is wisdom in the mantra. We have no control over where we were born, our feelings, or other people’s actions. What we have are choices. The choice to ignore or understand, to hold a grudge or let go, to stay behind or move forward, and much more.
When everything is grim, it feels even the serenity prayer can not help me. My choices aren’t clear, and my clouded judgment is no help. In the end, the serenity prayer is still right, “courage to change the things I can.” When everything is grim, I turn to my hobbies. I would do what brings me joy.
There is power in providing yourself solace. It is a small act of kindness you did for yourself. And, in the battle between you and you, that is worth more than the generosity of another.
Scream
About four years ago, I got shingles. My doctor was perplexed, “you’re only 25.” Turns out, it is more common in the elderly and those with a weakened immune system. He proposed it was due to extreme stress. Whether this was true or not, I realized I was stressed. My body knew before my consciousness did.
It’s not the first first time my body suffered because I kept my thoughts cool, calm, and collected. My ailments are psychosomatic 80% of the time. I learned to watch for warning signs. How do I know my mood turned from bad to worse? When I watch an episode of Friends and not laugh.
So I take the next pillow I find and scream into it. If that doesn’t work, I watch several episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. One, it gives me a reason to cry without the shame that comes with (because, society). Two, after balling my eyes out, I feel lighter. I find it cathartic to let myself go — wail or scream.
Support System
Support comes in different shapes and sizes. AA meetings are a form of support. So are labor unions, or the teaching assistant.
I look towards the company of my friends. I don’t want to talk about what bothers me. I just don’t want to be trapped in my thoughts. Being with them provides me normalcy. It is a relief that our relationship remains the same. Even if all other aspects of my life are circling out of control.
When I need to talk to someone, there are a few I trust. People I know will listen without judgment. I trust them well enough to say the right words or hold my hand when words aren’t necessary. There is comfort in knowing another soul can hear me, that I am not alone.
In The New Yorker, Atul Gawande wrote, “Human beings are social creatures. We are social not just in the trivial sense that we like company, and not just in the obvious sense that we each depend on others. We are social in a more elemental way: simply to exist as a normal human being requires interaction with other people.”
I find these four things to be helpful, but you and I are not the same. You can forget them if you want. What matters is you remember that emotional well-being is fundamental.
Emotions are part of our make-up. They are essential to our growth. Thus, we need to acknowledge our emotions, good or bad. We need to feel them so we can identify what they are. So we can begin to understand. To shy away from our emotions means to shy away from ourselves.
I am not a professional, I can’t guarantee what will or won’t help. Speaking with one can provide clarity. I haven’t yet, it’s terrifying. I am not immune to the stigma that surrounds therapy. But I want to be part of the change. I want to say that when I do need to, I will seek professional help. I hope you do too.
Taking care of your mental health is as essential as maintaining your blood sugar level.
