In a world where conformity is the norm, taking an unconventional path isn’t easy. It takes people with inflexible mental muscles to take such a course and continue relentlessly to the end without quitting.
Have you ever tried being unconventional?
How was the experience?
Was it easy for you?
When was the last time, you did such a thing?
Did you continue on the path? Or you gave up because of the persecution you faced?
Did everyone side with you or they went against you for trying to be unconventional?
Ugh. You’ve given some sigh. Haven’t you? Because I’ve made you recall the things you faced when you tried to be unconventional.
Well, it because it’s a conventional society and if you want to do things the other way round, it’s a war that you’re bringing unto yourself.
Perhaps, you can call it you against the world or the world against you. Whatever! But so far as you’re trying to be different from the masses, you’ll never find things easily.
That’s the reality. And if you want to be that person, here are seven things to prepare for as you take such a stand against society.
The cost of an outcast
The day you decided to do and live your life differently from that of the masses, you lost every opportunity that you could’ve had from your family, everybody. And the reason is that, as you made that decision, you told everyone that you’re not with them.
At that moment, you told the world, you’re on your own, and not part of them. By this, they’ll not see you like one and even see you as an enemy or treat you like one.
Therefore, to take such a stand in life, you must be aware and understand it when the tide comes against you. Because as you take such a perspective, society will never see you as one of itself and it’ll work against you.
Crucifixion as the price
Being unconventional and going against the norm — what society believes in is a great sin that is unacceptable. With this, you’ll be prosecuted and nailed unto the cross because nobody dares do things differently apart from what is accepted by society.
This happens to everyone that take such a path in life. It occurred to me, and it’ll happen to you because nobody tries to be unconventional and goes free.
Everyone will go against you. Your friends and family will be hostile to you. They’ll harass and treat you as if you’ve committed an unpardonable crime by chosen to do things differently. And the reason is that most times they’ve tried being the type of person you’re trying to be but didn’t find the courage to do it. And so, doing that people will hate it and that’s how come they’ll all rise against you.
“The biggest challenge in life is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else” — Anonymous
But it would help if you never despaired when they come against you. It’s a sign that what you set out to do is working, and you’re doing something right.
You versus yourself
As you take such a path in life, you’ll never have things on an even scale. Everything will go against you. Those that were close to you and you called friends, and you were cool with will all come against you. By this, if you don’t have an awareness of how it feels to be on such a life path, you play the self-pity game — oh why me? Why is everyone going against me suddenly? What have I done to deserve such treatment?
And the answer is simple. You’re going against what everyone expects of you. And if you’re doing that, what do you think should happen?
Treat you as they used to? Hell no. Because you’ve chosen a different path apart from everyone and you don’t expect them to treat you like they use to.
So with this, the idea of giving up or continuing with your path will come into the picture. You’ll have to deal with this internal battle whether to conform and keep being one of them or to continue your way to be you.
And mostly by this treatment, most people get from their family and friends; they give up on the reason why they wanted to choose a different path from society. And it’s one of the things that you’ll face. Bear in mind.
You against the world
Not willing to be what society wants you to be, and you choose a different part makes you an enemy automatically. I’m not the one to tell you. The reality is apparent.
Because if we are all going by the same route every day and doing things the same way all the time and suddenly, you’ve decided to change and do things differently than we agree, what makes you? An enemy!
And being an enemy, be prepared to pay the price for that. The cost of getting everything you do sabotage. The price of tarnishing your image before everyone. The price of denying you access to almost everything that you’ll need to make life and become that person you want to become. I had my dad quick me out of the house because I chose not to be religious and attend the same church with the family. And that’s the way it is. Because nobody tries to be unconventional and live freely, and nothing will happen to you. That’s not possible.
Back then, when I was growing up, I had a whole community against me because society wasn’t one of an educated type. Everything was about drugs, alcohol, crime etc. And when my friends and most people saw me be someone trying to move away from that life and go by the direction of education, everyone treated me as a strange creature and were hostile to me. Thank God I left that society in no time.
The reward of disappointment
The idea of people disappointing you can’t be out of the table when you try to be unconventional. And the reason is that the moment people find out that you’ve decided to take a different path apart from the one that is taking by all, they’ll become disappointed in you.
Therefore, to pay you back for disappointing them, they’ll also disappoint you in whichever way possible. People that you trusted that in everything, they’d have your back will no more do that. They’ll turn their backs against you. And it’s all because you have gotten the courage to pave a different direction in life for yourself that they couldn’t but wanted to. By this, they’ll do all sort of things to disappoint you with the idea of discouraging you and getting back to the old way.
This has happened to me so many times, but it’s ok. Through some of these things, I get to know I’m doing something right. Because, if it doesn’t happen that way, then I’m doing the wrong thing. So, it alright when you start to notice people are putting before you such attitudes. It means you’re on the right path with who you’ve chosen to be.
“Men’s best successes come after their disappointments.” — Henry Ward Beecher
Be prepared to receive the gift of being unconventional
Not willing to go by society’s way but yours’ comes with some gifts that you must to receive the very moment you make such a decision. The gift of bullshit, ill-treatment, discrimination, getting denied certain things are all things that you’ll face when you break away from society.
And the reason is simple. Society exists, and people’s conventionality powers it. Therefore, when you decide to break off and live and do things on your terms, why give you access to items created from people succumbing to its’ orders? It doesn’t work that way.
I have experience of a social worker kicking me out of a government assistance program that I was on. Because she realised, I was being smart and trying to do things in a way that’ll see me off the program and become successful later on — something that she couldn’t do for her own life. So she kicked me out, tarnished my image to everyone that I knew. All because I wasn’t following the norm. And that’s how it is. People will call you names, disrespect you and do unacceptable things before you because you’ve chosen to be different.
It has happened to so many people out there who tried to be unconventional — do things away from the norm. It’s a reality.
Why what used to be accessible will become a struggle?
Going by society’s way of doing things and living by its rules puts you under its belt. Therefore, in that circumstance, everything will be familiar and comfortable. But those same things that are normal and easy will be challenging the moment you break away from it. Because, by this time, you’re no more its product. You’ve become a different person and an outcast in its eyes. So everything that you used to have on an even scale, this time around you won’t have that.
And it starts with your family whereby they’ll deny you of ordinary water when you’re thirsty, and it’ll extend to the bigger world out there.
Because nobody likes someone who doesn’t do things like them and have the courage to be themselves and take a different path in life from everyone when they can’t.
So, life will become more of a struggle and wouldn't be easy like it used to. I’ve been through that but never allow that to make me change my mind, and it’s one of the reasons I have the capacity even to write this trying to let you know how it is when it comes to some of these things.
And in as much as it’s difficult and not comfortable with life if you don’t want to go by society’s way of doing things, it’s possible to get to the end of the tunnel.
So don’t be discouraged if you’re already facing some of the things I’ve discussed. As being conventional will never help you to bring the best in you and have a better life. So keep going and never change your mind and you’ll achieve your dream.