Confessions of a Tumblr Kid
Ranking my Tumblr reblogs by level of embarrassment
Yes, as the title shamelessly admits, I was a Tumblr child. I hesitate to use the past tense, as I still go on every so often to update info, reblog a few posts, or check in on my favorite accounts. Did I mention my username is “boomingdreams?”
I would spend hours on Tumblr, hoping to become the next Tumblr girl wearing a flower crown, too much mascara, and poorly ironed bangs. I wanted to be every hippie girl’s inspo in my uncoordinated outfits and offbrand docs. As if. Turns out I wasn’t meant for the Tumblr girl spotlight, but I did reblog a lot. So, what better way to celebrate my time on Tumblr then to roast myself? Let’s get into it.
1. the seasons change but my black skinny jeans don’t
This was definitely the phase in my life where I thought the tighter the pants, the better. I’m glad I’ve found a love for mom jeans. 10/10 for growth. Perks: I can now eat without needing to unbutton my pants mid-meal. I must admit I still love wearing black, no matter what the season is.
2. I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener.
Love the confidence in this, but also cringing at how closely it’s teetering the line of being condescending. I also was definitely lying by posting this. I might actually post something like this today, and I’m still ashamed of it.
3. im dropping out of 2016 and becoming an icelandic sheep herder
I love the energy of this one, but unfortunately nothing can compare to 2020. Baby Brittany didn’t know what was coming for her. This gets an 8/10 because at least now I have icelandic sheep herder dreams to fall back on. Every bit of hope helps these days, even if it involves “bahhhing.”
4. COFFEE SOLVES EVERYTHING!
I’ve unfortunately found out that coffee does not solve everything, which put this at number four. The all caps and the exclamation point really aren’t doing it for me. I also didn’t even know how to make a good coffee back then, and probably was dreaming of my sugar-laden frappucino that I pretended was coffee. At least I now make a killer oat milk latte that is 90% coffee instead of 90% milk.
5. HOW MANY NIGHTS HAVE YOU WISHED SOMEONE WOULD STAY?
This is put at number five because it’s melodramatic and I was just pretending I was pining over a man that didn’t want to stay, when the reality was I had (still have) a very dedicated, loving boyfriend. This one is a clear instance of me role playing the life of some pop song where the girl doesn’t chase the boy and then the boy leaves forever.
6. Love isn’t who you can see yourself with. It’s who you can’t see yourself without.
This is at number six because I didn’t fully understand that love isn’t about “unable to live without someone.” It’s about knowing you could, yet making that choice every single day to be with them because your life is better for it. The heart of the quote is good, but I didn’t get what it was trying to say like I do now. Again, I reposted this one just to prove absolutely nothing.
7. remember far east movement RIP 2011–2011
This one is put at number seven because it made me realize I can’t even remember what songs they sang, which sent me down a rabbit hole of searching the internet. I then realized they sang “Like a G6” and felt upset that I could ever forget that. Poppin’ bottles in the ice, like a blizzard.
8. do u ever daydream about decorating ur first apartment bc i do
This was before I realized having your first apartment is just a cyclical journey of throwing $600-$1000 a month in the literal trash because you’ll never get anything to keep from living an apartment. So ignorant, so blissful. Dreaming of buying your first house? Of decorating your first house? Now that’s a concept I’ll get behind.
Also, i luv the txt speech of this one.
9. I’d rather be the girl waking you up with coffee on a Sunday morning than keeping you up with vodka on a Saturday night
1/10. Embarrassed that I ever wrote this and it was lowkey (highkey) misogynistic. There’s nothing wrong with being both, or for being that Saturday night girl. We don’t need to put other women down in order to rise ourselves up. Girls supporting girls! Also, this is just bad insta poetry I never want to admit I wrote.
10. Hey, this post may contain adult content, so we’ve hidden it from public view.
This comes in last because there are so many posts on my own feed I can’t ever see now. RIP to those posts, even though I never reblogged adult content. If we’re being honest,it was probably just a post where a girl’s shoulder was showing too much, or a line drawing of a woman’s figure. Certainly safe for work content. Sends me back to the days of grade school dress codes, where I couldn’t even wear my favorite corduroy skirt
I hope you all enjoyed taking a walk down memory lane with me, and at least got one laugh out of this list. I know I sure did. So, who wants to do their Tumblr next?
