When you find Home, you need no farewell.
10 years later I’m on the move again.
April 30, 2006. Manerbio, Italy. It’s 5 AM and I am ready to start a new chapter of my life: I am moving abroad. My parents aren’t home: they had already booked holidays somewhere else, this weekend. That’s ok… we had time for a proper goodbye the evening before. It feels strange but I’m excited rather than worried. I always look forward to new adventures. Quick breakfast, and down to the car. A 10-hour drive is ahead of me.
Time for a new beginning. Direction Budapest, Hungary.
April 30, 2016. 10 AM. It’s the 10th anniversary of my transfer to Hungary. I won’t celebrate it, however. Because as I write these lines, I’m sitting on a plane, direction Zurich, Switzerland. It’s not a business trip. Not holidays. Nope, not visiting friends either. Yes, you got it: I’m moving there for good. What an ironically beautiful coincidence.
Like 10 years ago, I woke up around 5 AM, this time accidentally, though. Alarm was set for 6:25, but I couldn’t fall asleep again: my thoughts-pump wouldn’t give me a break. Luckily, nothing negative. This time my father was around, so I could say goodbye to him, at least. Feels kinda strange that this was happening 900 km away from what I had called home for the first 26 years of my life. He will be flying to “that home” few hours later, anyway.
My girlfriend drove me to the airport, this morning. When we stopped, she hugged me… and cried… but what really melted my heart was her smile, shining in a seemingly contradictory blend with tears. I don’t remember having seen that before, in her. She’s such an amazing person.
I cannot be more grateful for my last 10 years. I met an enormous amount of great people and have many friends here. Budapest keeps inspiring me, day after day. I wanna say Thank You all the people that made this journey such an amazing experience. I love you guys.
Köszönöm szépen barátaim.
Rewind to 2006. Hungary: for an Italian who grew up in the 80’s, a country which used to be under the communist regime still smells of the exotic.
Unlike me, many people make the place in which they grew up their home for their entire life. I love the story I heard from my friend Laurie: with her husband, she renovated the house that was built more than 200 years ago by her great-great-great grandfather, and moved in 5 years ago. She says, it really feels like home, warm and safe.
In the last 15 years though, distances have been dramatically shortening, thanks to more favorable sociopolitical circumstances, different business models (e.g. low cost airlines), and new technologies. As a result, more and more people have the chance to explore other countries and, at some point in their life, many decide to move. I am one of those lucky people who moved abroad stimulated by the desire to find fulfillment and opportunities in a different place in the world, rather than out of the necessity to escape extreme circumstances.
I am also one of those who feels he has found “home” in a different country than the one in which he was born and raised.
It hasn’t been so from day 1, obviously. During the first couple of years I felt like I was experiencing every day a recurrent dream of being a tourist in the city I actually lived in: I would wake up in the morning pondering: „What the heck am I doing here?” and respond to myself with a smirk as if to say: „How cool is to live in a place that you’d never imagined you’d end up living in?”.
In the year prior to moving, I increasingly felt an inner desire to try myself in a more challenging environment, as well as in a place where I could fully express my highly „social” attitude. Simply, I needed a different arena. I felt unsatisfied in what we might call „mostly comfortable” circumstances, I wanted to become an adult, a man, stretch myself, away from all the advantages of the nest.
In a similar situation, with the spirit of today, I would probably do exactly the same, except I wouldn’t let myself feel down or stressed out for months, like I did before the move in 2006.
I have now learned the importance of making peace with whatever situation life presents me in every single moment, and only when I feel I came to a state of joyous acceptance, I start working on changing the “outside world”, towards my goal. The miracle is, when you come to accept the portion of the circumstances on which you don’t have full control, the job is pretty much already done and opportunities start flowing your way.
It is indeed what has happened, now. This move to Switzerland came up as an unexpected opportunity. I didn’t plan for it at all. For a certain period, I didn’t even really want to consider it. But when I realized all the pieces of the puzzle started to mysteriously align in a way to make it impossible for me to say no, I figured I should listen to my inner voice and grab this train. Well, no, the plane.
In the last 10 years, I’ve been in 20 different countries in Europe. Several times, I visited the US and South Africa as well. During my first travels, I remember having felt ridiculously well in so many places, even if my stay was limited to a few days.
I felt at home wherever I was enjoying the present moment without worries, or wherever I had good friends taking care of me, sharing experiences and making me feel at comfort.
Now you might argue, feeling good when you’re off for few days is not a big deal. And you’d probably be right. Indeed, more recently I came to the realization there’s a deeper aspect to that. I like to see it this way:
Home is where you feel you can express yourself at the best of your creative capabilities, fulfill your potential and live with a sense of purpose.
As I write these lines, an inner sensation of comfort brings to my mind the awareness that something needs to be added:
Perhaps I’m just a citizen of the world.… and every single human being is a companion, in this journey called Life.
(Budapest -George Ezra-)
Just few minutes before leaving home, I stared for few seconds at the picture of my parents that lies on a shelf in the living room. While I was turning my sight away, I accidentally noticed the “inspire” stone on the shelf below.
Now I know it was not by chance: the stone had called me. I had to take it with me on the plane.
I am ready for the next chapter.
Home lies in the purpose, not in a physical location.
And from there, there’s no need for farewell.
