10 Relationship Lessons from Crash Landing on You
Spoiler alert for those who have not yet watched the romantic drama series
Crash Landing on You, a Korean drama series that aired on Netflix and tvN has captured the heart of viewers all over the world as the love story between South Korean heiress, Yoon Se-ri (Son Ye Jin) and North Korean Captain Ri Jeong-hyuk (Hyun Bin) brought laughter and tears throughout its 16-episode run.
The story began when Se-ri was swept away to North Korea by a tornado during a paragliding incident. The ensuing series of events unfold as she meets Captain Ri and several other characters with a way of life that is far different from what she has known. As Captain Ri tries to hide her and help her return to her own country, a love story like no other seizes both the imagination and the admiration of viewers who can’t help but cheer for the main love team in this drama.
A forbidden love
Star-crossed lovers have always fascinated fans of romantic movies and television dramas. Their passionate yet forbidden love for each other creates a compelling conflict you can’t help but watch and root for.
This is the same as the story of Se-ri and Captain Ri. Divided by a difference in nationality that could never seem to be crossed, you’d want to know how they would try to overcome such a sad fate. Would love overcome everything in the end? How would two people in such a difficult relationship deal with the challenges given to them?
Relationship lessons
Throughout the show, Se-ri and Captain Ri have shown how to handle both the ordinary and extraordinary problems that they faced as a couple. You don’t need to be in a star-crossed relationship to learn something from them. You don’t have to be separated by nationality or ideology. Many times, the things that separate us are the seemingly ordinary and trivial things. These are the things that slowly ruin a healthy relationship when ignored.
Here are some of the memorable lessons from the show that can help you improve your relationship:
1. Love is happy to provide for the beloved’s needs
To provide for someone you love is not a burden to be carried heavily upon our shoulders. It is something done with an open heart.
In the series, we see how Captain Ri has tried to provide for Se-ri’s needs when she had to live with him for a while at the beginning of the show. We see Captain Ri trying to buy coffee beans to prepare for Se-ri’s morning coffee. We see him buying even beauty products in the market just to make Se-ri feel more comfortable in strange territory. And who has not been touched when Captain Ri bought Se-ri’s much desired scented candle in the middle of the market place, waving it high like a beacon of light for our lost Se-ri to see and find him?
2. Love protects the other
Captain Ri had no superpowers, but the way he dashed in riding a motorcycle as he tried to save Se-ri in episode 6 was nothing short of heroic. It’s almost as though one of the Avengers had come to protect Se-ri from a villain that threatened to conquer the world.
We need not have superpowers to protect the ones we love. Quite often, all we need is the courage to try and the willingness to do what we can to defend our loved ones from harm.
3. Love understands
Love always tries to understand where the other person is coming from. Even when our loved ones say something we didn’t expect them to, we still try to find a way to give them a reason for doing so.
When Se-ri was having her photo taken for her passport, she wanted to have a picture also with Captain Ri. He refused, however, saying that there is no need to keep something like that. It’s not something pleasant to hear. But Se-ri tried to understand Captain Ri, agreeing with his reason that there is no need to take a photo of them together since they will soon part ways.
4. Love listens
Being ignored is one of the most hurtful things we experience in our relationships. To be ignored is to be disregarded. To be unheard is to have someone neglect the importance of what we’re saying.
This is the opposite of listening to someone. When we love someone, we’re interested in what they’re saying. We want to hear their stories over again. We want to know their past, their hurts, their victories. We want to know what makes them happy and what makes them sad.
In episode 5, when both Se-ri and Captain Ri were stranded due to a train delay, they both listened to each other. They were interested in knowing each other’s concerns and how each one could find happiness in the future. They listened to words that were spoken and even to words that were left unsaid. They listened with their hearts.
5. Love forgives
Love makes room for the other person’s mistakes. The one who loves does not wish to remember the other person’s faults. Even when one remembers, one tries to understand where the other one is coming from.
In episode 7 when Captain Ri spoke harsh words to Se-ri after she missed her flight back home because she stayed by his side at the hospital, Se-ri chose to forgive him and understand his condition rather than focus on his harsh words.
6. Love is not selfish
In episode 14 when Se-ri’s mother spoke with Captain Ri asking him to stay by her daughter’s side, Captain Ri wasn’t so selfish as to want Se-ri for himself only. He asked in return why Se’ri-s mother couldn’t also stay by her daughter’s side. He further commented that he thought Se-ri would like that, too.
Love is not demanding. Love is not possessive. Love is not selfish.
7. Love is willing to make a sacrifice
In several instances, Se-ri and Captain Ri proved that they were willing to make the necessary sacrifice for the other, even if it means sacrificing their own lives.
We see this as Captain Ri took the bullet for Se-ri in episode 6. We see this as Se-ri chose to miss her flight back home so she could save Captain Ri’s life by donating her blood and staying by his side.
Even in the earlier episodes, Captain Ri already chose to risk so much for Se-ri when he decided to hide her and later on, to tell other people she is his fiancé. In the latter part of the series, it was Se-ri who chose to risk her own life when she drove her car to serve as a shield for Captain Ri.
8. Love overcomes our differences
We can’t even start to count the many differences between Se-ri and Captain Ri. Their way of life is very different from each other. Add to this their responsibilities toward the people they protect and care about, not to mention their loyalty to their own country.
But love overcomes even what seems to be insurmountable. We see how both the visible and invisible borders are crossed so that love may find its way.
9. Love is faithful
Loneliness is never easy, especially at a time when you have just lost the one you love. There is always the temptation to find someone else, someone whom you can talk with and spend your time with.
But even when there was no clear indication that they would ever meet again, Se-ri remained faithful to Captain Ri.
10. Love overcomes distance
Who would have ever thought Se-ri would see Captain Ri again — and in South Korea? And who would ever have thought they’d meet again in Switzerland?
Love overcomes all things, even distance.
A fitting end to the series
The story of Yoon Se-ri and Captain Ri ended right where it breaks our hearts into both happiness and melancholy. We were not given an ending that wraps up everything as though our lovers would never cry again. But we were given a glimpse into their joy, a joy that is ready to fight for each other and to continue to hope until that day when love overcomes every barrier that has dared to come their way.
“That’s the decision I’ve made. We only get to live one life. But I have decided to spend mine encountering the love of my life, letting him go, and waiting to meet once again. That’s what I’ve decided to do. So if you feel the same way, come to me.” — Yoon Se-ri
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Jocelyn Soriano is the author of the book “Poems of Love and Letting Go”.
