How Meditation is helping me deal with uncertainty and fear during coronavirus pandemic

Sharing my honest feedback on how meditating for 10 minutes every day for the last few months is helping me stay calm.

Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash

“The mind is like water. When it’s turbulent, it’s difficult to see, when it’s calm, everything becomes clear” — Prasad Mahes

The year 2020 began with me buying a planner — visualizing my goals, things to do, places to visit, and the two most important things I wanted to focus on were Journaling and Meditating for at least 10 minutes a day, and little did I know that these are the tools that are keeping me mostly sane during this pandemic.

I am not a certified mental health instructor nor did I complete any certification course in meditation and mindfulness. I am sharing my personal journey on how this practice is helping me in hopes that it could give you kick start and you can reap the benefits in your everyday life, and especially during these uncertain times. They may be tough times ahead and though we cannot control what’s happening outside, we can control what’s happening from within. we can give at least five to ten minutes in our day to take care of our mental health.

Let me start by describing how my thought process was last year. I tried meditating by watching Youtube videos but I couldn't resonate with any of them. I could not sit still for two minutes in silence. I started pondering — why I thought of doing this in the first place? the answer was simple, few friends talking about it, everyone in social media posting videos about how meditation changed their lives, how they are able to face challenges with clarity and inner peace and I honestly felt like they are faking it. we cannot train our minds to stay positive and calm during stressful situations, it’s too good to be true as with just a few months of practice, how could it possibly work?

Hence, my quest for finding that magic ingredient began and my goal was to focus on gains and I kept failing despite reading and watching videos on how to practice. I tried to remain consistent for a week and was disappointed. This practice remained a conundrum to me as to how others can see the benefits and not me. You could call it serendipity, as I experienced these two moments that helped me gain perspective on why I should try it even more. One being an Instagram story —

Buddha was asked, “ what did you gain from Meditation?” he replied “Nothing!! however, I can tell you what I lost — Anger, depression, anxiety, panic, insecurity, fear of old age and death” and then I realized where I got it wrong, I was focusing on the benefits and not the process. It’s a practice, not a skill that you learn which could provide benefits right away. It requires belief,patience and consistency. Training our mind is like training a muscle, the more you do, the more stronger it becomes.

The second being, my friend asking me whether I would be interested to join a free 21-day online meditation workshop hosted by Deepak Chopra. They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit and that’s exactly what happened to me. I could kill two birds with one stone, the format of the workshop included mantra-based mediation followed by a journaling session — sharing our experience and journaling our thoughts through a journaling prompt/question given each day. By the end of 21 days meditating and journaling became a part of my morning routine and it stayed that way ever since.

Photo by Tim Goedhart on Unsplash

“The goal of meditation is not to get rid of thoughts or emotions — the goal is to become more AWARE of your thoughts and emotions and learning how to move through them without being stuck” — Dr. P. Goldin

The idea sounds simple but it took me a while to even comprehend what it means to become AWARE of thoughts and emotions. Change is something that most of us are uncomfortable with and I am truly one of them. The rate at which the world around us changed, I couldn’t accept the reality in February. Though my life is not turned upside down, I still experienced some discomfort, panic, fear of uncertainty, fear of losing our loved ones, staying in self-isolation for an indefinite period of time, and being an Empath and I react very quickly to situations and this could have taken a toll on my mental health. The only thing that helped me remain sane is practicing meditation, mindfulness, and journaling about my fears and insecurities.

We could see the world crumble within just a few weeks and how people are fighting for life. There are instances where people are tearing each other apart like fighting over toilet paper and groceries, to racist comments, reading some heartbreaking stories on medium left me in tears and disbelief. I was appalled to see how people react during times of fear and crisis. My heart goes out to all those who have lost their loved ones, single parents trying to make ends meet, people who have no source of income, and people with mental illnesses facing more anxiety and fear than ever. Doctors are talking about how suicide rates may spike up. If you are someone like me, limit consuming news or reading posts about how people are getting affected. Keeps ourselves informed is one thing but overconsumption is another especially if it bothers you a lot.

There are tough times ahead but what gives me hope and strength that I can get through this no matter what.This mindset shift happened without me realizing how training my mind over the past few months has helped me develop a positive outlook and open my mind to all the good things happening around the world — Health care professionals working round the clock, essential personnel risking their lives to save those in need, people stepping up and contributing food and money. Adopting pets and donating to animal shelters. Sharing positive messages to maintain social distancing and how we all are interconnected, meaning how staying home is stopping further spread of the virus and we all saving lives too. If you are doing too many things at home, taking time for yourselves is needed more than ever.

There are many types of mediation, the most popular ones are:

• Loving-kindness meditation
• Breath-awareness meditation
• Mantra-based meditation
• Guided meditation
• Visualization mediation
• Mindfulness meditation
• Transcendental meditation
• Zen meditation
• Chakra meditation
• kundalini yoga

If you are a beginner, choose any type of meditation practice but start with five minutes a day and journal/document on how you feel. What works for me are Guided meditation and Mantra-based meditation.

I meditate daily for 15 minutes through the Headspace app. I really like the layout of this app. They use various techniques and they have different categories — like managing stress, anxiety; personal growth, productivity, procrastination, sleep, letting go, and many more. The basics pack is a good way to start. I am currently hooked onto this app and the headspace blog.

If you are planning to include meditation as a part of your routine or you have tried meditation and felt like it’s not for you, I will share a few things that helped me and hope it may do the same for you.

1. Start with an open mind: You are most likely going to feel disconnected and lost, especially the first few days.
2. Do not be afraid to sit still: I could not sit for more two minutes when I started the practice and felt like I failed. it’s completely normal. Do not be scared to give it another go. It could be hard for most of us so sit alone with our thoughts .Give me some time and eventually it will all come together.
3. Do not try and control your thoughts: The aim of meditation isn’t to control your thoughts, it’s to stop letting them control you.
4. Be honest and kind to yourself: There may be days where you can practice for ten minutes and feel calm and there can days where you can’t continue for more than two minutes. It can happen to anyone so be Kind and honest and try to be non-judgemental.
5. Practice Mindfulness: Our minds get easily lost in thought when we are sitting in silence it’s almost impossible to not have any thoughts. The goal is to not try and fight it, instead allow the thoughts to come and go. The moment you realize you are distracted bring your attention back to your breath or a place where you feel comfortable.
6. Learn to let go: If you are going through a tough time, it’s quite normal to lose focus and we feel insecure and blame ourselves for not doing our best. Our emotions overpower our minds and if that’s the case, even if you have to cry it out during the practice, do it and let it out. The idea here is to practice living in the present moment, not holding ourselves back looking at the past or fear and uncertainty of the future.
7. Keep a mindfulness/meditation journal: write down or document how you feel after each session. you may not see the difference right away but with time, you start to recognize the positive shift in the way you are thinking about a similar situation now vs how you would react to it before you began this practice. This is a very important step as it will help you to choose love over fear and embrace imperfections and uncertainty.
8. Good things take time: Be consistent and give yourself permission to be flexible with this practice. It doesn’t have to be a specific time and if you do not feel like it, do not try too hard to make it work. It’s okay, all your feelings are valid.

It’s progress vs perfection and it’s not a competition on who can be better, it’s about building a community and lifting each other up.

In summary, there is no golden rule or a specific type of practice that works. Experiment and see what works for you. Try free mediation apps or Youtube videos and then decide. You do not have to need to figure it out right away, give it time. Taking care of our mental health is key here so, incorporate any self-care habits that resonate with you and it could even five minutes a day. It may not work away but with time and consistency, it will all start making sense. May you all stay strong, healthy, and positive.