I, Me and Myself
How much do we know thy “Self”
“I can affect change by Transforming the only thing I ever had control over in the first place and that is myself” —Deepak Chopra
Believing in myself and accepting the way I am is definitely a “work in progress” and this journey began about a few months back, when I was in the lowest phase of my life — Stepping out of my comfort zone to switch my career to Nutrition and wellness. I had low confidence and self-esteem issues as I was overweight, not making money and clueless as to where to begin which led to self-doubt on whether I succeed after I finish my program? How will my life be? What if I fail to lead a life that I designed (or I thought I designed). I was looking for alternate career options and some inspiration to assure me that I should follow my heart and enjoy the process. I started looking everywhere for hope and giving myself pep talks.
One of the things that stuck with me the most was this Ted talk I was listening to, which spoke about how to pick yourself up when you feel that you have lost everything and this particular line gave me hope — The beauty of hitting rock bottom is that the only way to move forward is to look up and start over.
Fear of failure has left me with few sleepless nights and over-thinking made it stressful and turned me into an emotional eater and I would put on the extra kilos that I worked hard to lose and this Self-sabotage cycle went on at the beginning of 2019. The Nutrition program talked about Mental health and Self-awareness and that’s when I started dwelling deeper into “self-Love” and soon I found out that Self-love is one branch of this tree called “self”.
Self-care and self-love are two most commonly discussed topics and that’s where it gets confusing as most of us do not accept ourselves worthy of love and care. I thought putting others first is an act of selflessness and I believed that is the way how people will value, love and respect me. I never focussed on taking care of my health or priorities and was trying to become something that I am not. I felt I was trying too hard and looking for external validation.
It's not your job to be Everything to Everyone!
I never believed I am enough, worthy and capable of love and I am successful or leading a perfect life like the way some of friends and cousins are (I felt their life is perfect). I felt like I could have planned my career better and taken risks and chances when I had the opportunity and I chose comfort but the fact was I had no self-confidence and self-love.
Reading Self-help books, Listening to Youtubers, Ted talks and Researching about self-love and acceptance thought me one thing — creating “self-awareness” being the key to getting to know yourself better. I would share a few things that helped begin this quest for knowing myself- Provided me a better understanding of my thoughts, emotions, and feelings.
Keep a “self-discovery” journal
This has been an absolute game-changer for me. At first, I found it difficult to write about my thoughts? what are my biggest fears? what are my accomplishments? I started getting comfortable after a month. It became a part of me. Journalling helps to clear our thoughts and will help provide space for opportunity and growth.
Try the various components associated with self
Write about what self-acceptance means to you. Address your fears and insecurities and ask yourself If these thoughts were to come true what can I do to overcome them ? will I survive this? Replacing this fear and self-doubt with a positive thought would help you build self-confidence.
Practice Positive affirmations
Writing I am Enough, I am worthy, I am beautiful, I am Radiant, I am kind or say it aloud will develop a positive outlook about yourself.
Self-love is my new superpower
Tune in with your self
I believe “when Things change inside you, Things change around you”. When I started paying attention to my thoughts and believing in myself I started enjoying the little things in life which were always there around me but I never noticed it before.
Stop comparing yourself to others
This is the most difficult thing for me to put into practice. whenever I would compare myself, I would end up hating myself for not putting my self-love and self-worth talk into practice. It's like my heart knows that everyone’s journey and experiences are different and I am at the right place in my life and I will shine when my time comes but my mind would race to these negative thoughts. It felt like my heart and mind were in war with each other and the harder I would try to make it perfect, the more I fail. Writing about the other components especially self-acceptance and self-growth thought me how I am in control of how I respond to these thoughts. I now tell myself, I am human and It's okay to feel the way I am feeling. I will enjoy this process and pick myself up rather than beating myself for it.
Celebrate the small wins
I never felt like I am capable of celebrating my small wins, it was too awkward for me. I felt like my accomplishments are nothing worth celebrating and then I made a promise to my self that not recognizing my self-worth is self-sabotaging my achievements however small they may be. It's always Progress vs Perfection. It can anything like making a cup of hot chocolate, taking a warm shower, making a cookie, watching your favorite movie or tv show, anything which was on your mind for a long time.
Self-love isn’t selfish; If we cannot love ourselves ,we can never fully love and accept others.
I am in a better Headspace than I was last year. Journalling, Surrounding my self with like-minded people. The nutrition and wellness program is definitely helping me stay positive and accept who I am. Especially in these uncertain times, It's helping me to enjoy life one day at a time. There will good days and bad days but working through my thoughts and taking care of myself is helping to become a more kind and compassionate person. Self-reflection is a transformational tool in my personal experience.
I hope you find 10–15 minutes in a day to practice self-care and discover out all the components of your ‘self’.
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