The Power of Listening
A Snippet
Whether we realize it or not our brains are always set to try to find answers when faced with a question. Most of the time though, since we live in a noisy world and are a part of the lives and thoughts of others, our natural capacity to dig deep and listen to our true self is covered. Our assumptions and beliefs are formed by our past experiences, and sometimes, by other people’s beliefs.
A good facilitation process, with the right questions, will give the soul a safe environment to be fully present and give one the courage to view their experiences from a new perspective. This leads to a discovery of the one true self, which doesn’t often happen in a single significant moment. Usually a person will go through a process of connecting dots on a map until they find their treasure; a greater understanding of themselves. This self-discovery is fundamental, it will lead us further towards the correct path and unleash our potential. Once someone has discovered themselves without dark clouds covering the truth, once someone see themselves so clearly that they can’t resist it, once this happens there is no way to go back to wearing their old masks or to choose a direction they’re not supposed to go. In my journey facilitating others, I am often reminded that we need clarity — clarity of ourselves, of our minds and of our souls — the clarity to really listen with our hearts. And more importantly, we need to listen to ourselves.
Training ourselves to be more aware of our inner responses can be an immersive process. We often need to build this awareness slowly, just like shifting a habit. We can shift from a habit of listening too much to the external opinions that surround us to a habit of listening to our true selves. There are many ways to sharpen our “listening skills”, some more effective than others — methods that you can train yourself for such as having a ritual quiet time in the morning, engaging in expressive writing, keeping a journal, taking a full day away from mobile devices, and meditation.
Meditation doesn’t necessarily mean we have to close our eyes, stay silent, and keep our minds empty for hours. What we want to focus on during our meditations is the management and awareness of our breathing which will allow us to achieve a calm state. This provides us with a special clarity to our thinking. It is a chance for us to push the pause button and see our circumstances clearly from a perspective of serenity — to have a conversation with ourselves and get some distance between us and our daily auto-pilot. When we meditate we act as an observer of ourselves and can become the interviewer, asking ourselves the right questions. This process can be done in the lotus position, laying down, or in any way that suites you such as dancing, walking, or even while hitting the treadmill. I personally do this process most often through writing and I love it.
For several years I have been journaling, capturing new insights from my personal experiences and having open conversations with my inner self. The type of questions I ask myself are usually simple, questions such as: “Hi, what’s in your head right now?” or “How do you feel? What made you feel that way?” I allocate a specific time each day or during the mornings, to journaling and the results have been incredible. Since it is intended to be a personal journal, I allow myself to do free flow writing without thinking too much so I can therefore skip the editing process which allows me to just keep on going until I feel there’s nothing left to write. This method has been especially helpful in facing personal challenges. When I feel negative, when I feel like there’s no solution, I write. After writing all the uneasy yet honest thoughts in my head, I close the process with a constructive question, such as “What can you do to make it better?”
When I start journaling by asking a question, like when I facilitate with others, I allow a safe space and for soul-digging and I provide precious time to be completely honest with myself. It helps me to see issues from different perspectives, eventually finding reconciliation. Journaling also helps me build a strong bond with my inner self, creating a deeper level of understanding. This process enables me to connect the intelligence of the head, the intelligence of the heart, and the intelligence of the body — all through my hand! However, if we spend too much time with other people’s thoughts in our heads we can have a difficult time hearing our own inner voice — almost as if it was nearly muted. Thus, I try to do this process as regularly as possible. Journaling is the core method we will work with in this book. This will be an ongoing exercise in listening to yourself, while also teaching you to silence the external noises that surround you.
