The ENTJ Male and INTJ Female Dynamic
Being that I am an INTJ female, I have to say that the ENTJ male is, by far, my favorite type of human being.
What is funny about ENTJ males is that everyone seems to be so drawn to them, however once they are honored enough to be close to one, they will likely be filled with intimidation, jealousy and did I mention intimidation? They are quite the beings to behold. These men are natural leaders, possess a very dominant presence, are brutally charming and the least likely of all the personality types to take any shit. What’s not to love? Everything, but for the INTJ female, it is a dream come true.
Like the INTJ female, I cannot imagine that there are many types of people, much less women, that can handle the ENTJ male, especially with the gaining popularity of modern feminist movements. The dynamic between these two types is, in my opinion, the most biologically natural match there is in the human species. Although it goes against many modern ideals, I compare the ENTJ male and the INTJ female to the mighty lion and lioness, as they are both highly capable independent creatures, yet the partnership is strong, with defined interdependent gender roles. On the other side of the coin, however, the mighty lion is a natural hunter (of other females) and the rational respect for nature and biology is something that must remain on the forefront, and something that the ENTJ male needs to maintain his amazing dominating presence, whether they admit it or not. Am I saying these men are unfaithful? Quite the contrary, however an open minded outlook is essential and is something that can only be given by a true rational. Irrationality does not mesh well with these men, and there is no woman more rational than the INTJ.
ENTJ males live to dominate the world, and the INTJ female is the perfect partner in this endeavor
INTJ women need a strong, independent and dominant man. The fact that the ENTJ has that highly glorified “E” (that I often wish I possessed) paired with rationality (NT), we naturally admire them and accept their leadership for most things. We INTJs don’t accept leadership easily, if at all, but the rationality of the ENTJ male, along with the command for respect, finds a highly loyal subject in these women. Although nearly impossible to find, INTJ women need a man stronger than ourselves, that we can admire, stand behind and be proud of (thus the ‘J’). That can almost only be found in the ENTJ.
What makes the ENTJ male and INTJ female dynamic special?
Most of the weaknesses that are possessed by one is reflected in the other. It is the CEO and COO dynamic, with the ENTJ being the face, the leader, the one in “control” while the other keeps things running smoothly and providing damage control. The INTJ will roll out the proverbial red carpet for the ENTJ and roll it back up once they have moved across it, making sure everything is “just so” so they can continue to do what they do, without dealing with the minutiae of it all. For me, the INTJ, the minutiae is my favorite part. Being “the face” and being “in control” are not my strong points. I know what that sounds like, but it is not even close to what you think.
Loyalty and respect.
The ENTJ male is a loyal protector and supporter of the INTJ woman. Although our man may be displaying his successes outwardly, he gives us the freedom to pursue our own successes, with (most importantly) as little or as much “alone” time as we could possibly need, without conflict. He wants us to succeed and will stand behind us just as equally as we do for him. He sees value in our work and offers the deepest level of respect, knowing very well that they owe, not their success, but perhaps the speed, organization and delivery of their success, to us. To truly love and respect these men, one must always be aware that they are more than capable of succeeding on their own, just as we are, but it is astoundingly helpful to have the rarely found non-confrontational support and freedom to do so.
Focus on self.
A lot of people cringe at that thought, however self-improvement and becoming the best at what they do is important to both the INTJ and ENTJ. Many irrational types would feel jealous (for lack of a better word) of these endeavors. It is my opinion that a lot of people want someone to be lower then themselves, not someone better than them in any way, so they can feel better about themselves. Gross. Naturally confident, these 2 together become self-improvement royalty, with the constant drive to push and challenge themselves, and each other, to become the best possible beings and consistently challenging their capabilities. This is only appreciated if you have been in any irrational partnership, which I am sure most ENTJs and INTJs have thoroughly experienced by adulthood.
Being an INTJ female has been challenging, my entire life. Nobody could every truly know me because of the millions of x factors and deep hidden worlds that make an INTJ what they truly are. It is a bit easier for the INTJ to coexist in this state, as we live within ourselves. Imagine having all of the nuances of being an INTJ, yet trying to live outwardly. I cannot imagine, yet this is what the ENTJ has struggled with. Judgement, ridicule, hatred, negative reactions and all the other things that would result if the INTJ outwardly and instinctively spoke their mind and acted on everything that walked across their field of ideas. As a result of this, the ENTJ who meets their match in an INTJ takes a long time to open up to their true selves, and the INTJ will consistently push them to do so. The INTJ is tired of putting on the act themselves and can’t abide a partner feeling as if they need to continue the charade to coexist with other human beings. Over time, the freedom to be themselves becomes the strong, unbreakable foundation that makes this dynamic superior. It takes time to realize that there is another human being that can accept and understand nearly everything going on inside these rational minds, and the realization is extremely peaceful.
This post is focused on the relationship dynamic between these two types, however it is important to realize that these types would work well together in nearly any kind of partnership; Parent/child, employer/employee, siblings, business partners. I don’t believe it would work well if the sexes were switched in the relationship world, as it goes against biology, but nothing is set in stone. If you have that particular story to share, please do.
Originally published at Amanda Evans.