The friends who made me “ME”
Friends. God made them because you cannot handle your own shit. Be happy if you have even one. It might just have changed your life.
I’ve had quite a disturbing past. It all began in grade 8th with some unrest in my home, and since then, the whole family’s situation, emotionally and financially, has degraded. Going into details of an agonizing, broken childhood will neither interest anyone, nor make me comfortable. After all, it is disturbing.
There are certain people and experiences in our life which transform us completely. The sad part is, we don’t realize the importance of those experiences until a later point in life. I have almost completed one of the most interesting phases of my life — college. This one, its a story of two of my closest friends who have had the greatest impact on my life. The friends who made me “ME”.
I have changed both their names but most other details are real. This is a candid post without much deliberation into editing or making things look “good”. I believe my relationship with both my friends is best described in the most authentic, unedited version I tell.
I met Sagar on the very first day of my college. We were from the same state, and for a boy like me who hasn’t seen the other side of my city from over two years (the story of every engineering aspirant in India), finding someone from the same place was comforting. I asked his father if we could take a room together, and Sagar replied instead, “I have already taken a room with my school friend. Thanks!”. I was not disappointed given that I still had a friend in college 2000 kilometres away from home. Luckily, we got the same hostel, and there started my hostel life.
I entered college with two goals in mind: develop great communication skills and get placed in a top-tier company after four years. To master the former, I decided to ask questions and answer every question during our orientation program. It was the very first day of orientation when I met JK — a fat, curly-haired guy with dark circles, he seemed dumb to me. Ironically, I was not a slim figure either but I did consider myself to be quite smart. In my opinion, the judgement mindset was the result of the upbringing I’ve had being a part of the typical Indian society. I gently passed greetings, asked his department of study, and that was it. As I said before, I never realized, at that moment, that this guy will lead on to become of the most successful engineering undergraduates of our college, and an incessant inspiration for thousands over the next few years.
In the next few months, I focused on academics and my communication skills. However, living far away from my family gave me a sense of independence, which I started to like. I played sports, hanged out with friends, and often participated in cultural activities as well. I had seen Sagar once or twice in the hostel, but never really mingled with his group. It was only after half the semester passed that I realized both of us went to the same coaching institute and had a lot in common. We were not smart but hard workers, and have had similar stories of struggle while studying for our engineering examinations. The bond eventually became strong over the next semester. Our group used to spend the most time together after classes. Be it watching cricket or playing it, Sagar’s room became a common hub for the complete hostel wing. I really enjoyed being the part of a popular group in hostel.
Why has Sagar had such a significant impact on my life? The answer is Honesty and true friendship. In a competitive place, such as the place where we studied, one rarely meets anyone who tells you on your face, “YOU’RE WRONG”. A significant chunk will let you fall in the abyss as most of them are insecure about their grades and reputation. Sagar was the only one I know who made me realize what's right for me and what’s not. He became my go-to person. Be it a problem I am stuck in, or an achievement I want to share, Sagar was always honest and gave me the best advice (it continues till day). And, as a friend, he couldn't have taken more care for me. I suffered a few health issues, and every single time Sagar would leave his work and classes to help me. It sounds so ordinary to write this line, but when a friend, out of your thousands of college and Facebook friends, takes the responsibility of your family during your tough times, you cannot thank God more for giving you that friend. That was Sagar. He didn’t just become my family, he became more than that!
On the other hand, I was fortunate enough to meet that same fat, curly-haired, dumb guy again. We were inducted together in a cultural team of our college. I literally thought that JK getting into a reputed team in college is some kind of glitch by the people who selected us. However, all my beliefs took a setback when JK topped the whole college in the first semester. The fat guy suddenly changed to a smart, cool guy for me after that day (as I told, academics was the only criteria I judged others). We started to know each other but being from a different hostel, we maintained a kind of a casual relationship as friends.
What future beheld for me was to witness utter greatness, sincerity, and hard work of a guy whose accomplishments, as a friend and a person, defied the first glimpse I had of him. JK not only topped the first semester but all seven semesters after that. As I write this blog down, JK is still the college topper, and an inspiration to hundreds of juniors in colleges (and even for some graduates and professors:). One of the reasons that he made such a mark in college is because, unlike other department toppers, JK contributed significantly to clubs and cultural activities in the college, did amazing projects both in and out of the college, and built great relations with people from all fields of engineering.
My bond with JK grew stronger when we both secured internships at a well-reputed university in our summer break. We lived in the same hostel and went to our respective labs together. Evenings were even more fun. From movies to night-outs, I started to view the world from a different perspective altogether. We had some really deep conservations about multiple topics during our 1:00 am walks back to our hostel from work. It was truly a riveting experience of life for me.
Why JK changed my life? Because he made me learn “Why not try?” I was always sceptical and scared to try difficult things because of the fear of failure. Quite a common feeling right? But, if we don’t try those difficult-to-achieve, impossible things, we might end up just a victim of mediocrity. And somehow, most people don’t even try to make changes to their life because it just seems so comfortable. Coming out of comfort zone, its easier said than done. And, it was JK who taught me to believe in myself and take things up, even though the chances of failure are pretty high. Since two years, I have done reasonably well in my career, and a huge credit goes to the “Why not try?” spirit which JK instilled within me.
Words won’t suffice to the life JK and Sagar have bestowed on me. I never really believed the idea of love and friendship as I never experienced them in the past. However, I have started feeling these emotions because there is JK and Sagar.
One taught me what life is and the other, how to live it. Living life, its not just a phrase. Its an experience. And my friends, they are life for me for whom I live!
Both JK and Sagar have done great in their college till now, and they’re heading towards the pursuit of wonderful journeys in future as well. What they don’t know is that they have inspired me and thousands of others who’ll walk down the same college. This article is for you guys. Thanks!
