Pornography Addiction — Blame the Player, Not the Game
Addiction, to quote the Macquarie Dictionary, is defined as “the state of being addicted to some habit, practice, or substance, especially to narcotics.”
Heroin, Alcohol, crack cocaine, nicotine, and caffeine — the practice of consuming these substances is, to differing degrees, addictive and dangerous. This is because these substances are in themselves addictive. Simply put, they react with the human body on a chemical level to create a very real physical craving for the substance to be consumed, over and over again.
Addiction to these and other drugs can be all encompassing and undeniable. It destroys lives, eats away at the addict’s mind and body, leaving them a physical and mental wreck. Drug addiction kills.
Pornography addiction. It’s something that has been in the news a little bit lately, as a couple of reasonably high-profile men have confessed to their “secret shame” and liberated themselves from the evil and crippling effects of… watching people have sex.
Hmmm. I’m not buying it.
[caption id=”attachment_8565" align=”aligncenter” width=”397"]
Go on… enjoy it![/caption]
The first case I became aware of was New Zealand Olympic Athlete Nick Willis. Nick broke the silence on his “rollercoaster ride of shame and justification” earlier this year, and earned a great deal of praise for his courage and honesty.
So the guy was really into watching porn and now he isn’t anymore. So what? Sure, it sounds it made him feel bad about himself. Is this really a problem for everyone else to worry about though? Or this just someone who feels uncomfortable about their own actions trying to shift the blame in order to maybe not feel so bad about themselves? We’ll come back to that.
The next case was that of Terry Crews, former NFL player, Old Spice guy and now star of sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Terry has been even more outspoken in detailing his “dirty little secret” and the pain it has caused him.
Terry has been very open in talking about his porn addiction and tried to help others suffering from this terrible affliction, even becoming involved with supporting the Fight The New Drug organisation. These are the sickeningly self-righteous collection of bright young things who run funky social media campaigns, sell t-shirts and make slick videos, all designed to make young people conform to their narrow-minded, antiquated and constrained view of what’s right and wrong when it comes to human sexuality.
Oh, and they’re also totally cool with using a long-dead serial killer as a spokesman for their views. Stay classy, Fight The New Drug.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that none of this is about a genuine crusade against a debilitating a serious medical affliction. This is all about people who aren’t comfortable with pornography, and possibly issues of sexuality in general, simply creating a classic straw man on which to project their own issues, insecurities and guilt.
This is all about towering narcissists who can’t see past the end of their own nose, looking to create an enemy that makes them feel better about themselves. “Ooh, look at me, I’ve overcome this terrible struggle, aren’t I brave?” Describing it as an addiction is at best generous and, at worst, dangerous. It also reminds me of this clip, which puts addiction in perspective (NSFW).
Is Porn the issue here? I don’t think so. The real issue here is people with anxiety, depression, and self-confidence issues, unsure of their own sexual identity and possibly uncomfortable with what their sexual desires may be. This is about people who are trying to excuse their own feelings of guilt by playing the addiction card. Blaming porn doesn’t solve anything, it merely distracts from the real issues.
It has to be noted that, yes, there is pornography out there which is unacceptable and there are people who consume it. There are also people who may have an issues and use of pornography is a part of those issues. But blaming pornography as a whole is a shortsighted and misses the point. The underlying issues, whatever they are, are what need to be addressed.
The vast majority of pornography is harmless, and plenty of consenting adults are using it to have fun and positive sexual experiences. In 2016 it’s not exactly a newsflash to say that there is a massive variety of sexual interests and activities. Not everyone is into the same thing but, as long as it’s legal, people are free to do as they choose. If pornography is a part of that, so be it.
It’s also worth noting that, as different as they appear, Nick Willis and Terry Crews have one other thing in common, apart from pornography addiction. They are both committed Christians. It’s fair to say that Christianity and sexuality have a fairly rocky relationship and Christians aren’t generally known for being open about sexuality and related issues. Is this two cases of genuine addiction or just a couple of sexually repressed religious folks blowing away their guilt with a smokescreen of blame and false hysteria?
To help you answer that, when Terry said this about the guilt he felt when watching pornography; “at the same time, it was exhilarating, a rush, like taking a drug,” he probably didn’t know it, but he was simply describing an orgasm. And enjoying that is nothing to be ashamed of.
