Breaking the Mold: Overcoming Societal Expectations in the Pursuit of Happiness

Joe Robens
The Ivory Tower Paradox
7 min readDec 17, 2023
Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

Imagine you’re at a dinner party, and someone asks the inevitable question: “What do you do for a living?” How do you feel as you answer? Proud? Ashamed? Indifferent? According to a study by the Harvard Business Review, nearly 50% of professionals are disengaged at work, not because they lack skill or ambition, but often because they find themselves in careers shaped more by societal expectations than by their own true desires. This unsettling statistic serves as a wake-up call for all of us ensnared in the corporate labyrinth, questioning if the path we’re on is one we chose or one chosen for us.

This article aims to delve into a subject that many shy away from discussing openly — the tension between societal expectations and individual happiness, especially in the realm of career choices. We’ll explore how societal norms often create a mold that not only stifles creativity but can also lead to job dissatisfaction and emotional burnout. But we won’t stop at merely diagnosing the problem; we’ll offer actionable advice grounded in academic research and real-world examples to help you break free from this mold.

The scope of this discussion is broad yet deeply personal, touching on aspects that resonate with every working professional: career advice, critical thinking, planning, mindset, aspirations, motivations, grit, and choices. Whether you’re a mid-level manager contemplating a career shift or a fresh graduate entering the corporate world, this article offers insights that can guide you in making decisions that align with your true self.

To ensure the credibility and applicability of what we discuss, this article is supported by various academic studies, expert opinions, and case studies. For instance, research from the Journal of Vocational Behavior shows that job satisfaction increases by up to 30% when individuals align their work with their personal values and aspirations. We’ll also hear from experts like Angela Duckworth, the author of “Grit,” who argues that passion and perseverance are more significant predictors of career success than talent alone.

So, as you read on, prepare to challenge some of your long-held beliefs and assumptions about what a “successful” career looks like. It’s time to break the mold and embark on a journey toward a more fulfilling professional life — one that brings you not just financial security but also emotional well-being and true happiness.

The Societal Mold and Its Impact on Career Choices

We live in a society that often equates career success with high salaries, prestigious titles, and job stability. From a young age, we’re taught to aim for careers that offer these “markers of success,” sometimes at the expense of our own interests and passions. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that societal expectations significantly influence career choices, often pushing individuals into fields they might not have chosen otherwise. Take, for example, the case of Sarah, a talented artist who opted for a law career because her parents believed it offered better financial security. While she excels in her legal profession, she often wonders what her life would have been like had she followed her passion for art.

Conforming to societal expectations doesn’t come without a price. Research from the American Psychological Association indicates that job dissatisfaction can lead to a range of mental health issues, including anxiety and depression. In a corporate setting, this could manifest as burnout, decreased productivity, or even a complete career derailment. Consider the story of Mark, a high-flying executive who seemed to have it all but ended up taking a sabbatical due to severe burnout. He later realised that he had been climbing the corporate ladder without ever questioning if it was what he truly wanted.

While societal norms offer a structured pathway, it’s crucial to remember that career satisfaction often comes from aligning your job with your personal aspirations and motivations. A groundbreaking study in the Journal of Vocational Behavior showed that individuals who aligned their careers with their personal values experienced up to a 30% increase in job satisfaction. Take the example of Emily, who left her stable job in finance to start a non-profit organisation. Despite the financial uncertainties and societal eyebrows raised, she found immense satisfaction and purpose in her new role.

What does this all mean? We’ve explored the societal mold that often shapes our career paths, sometimes to our detriment. We’ve seen how societal expectations can lead us astray, the emotional and psychological toll of such conformity, and the importance of aligning our careers with our personal aspirations. As we move forward, we’ll delve into actionable strategies to help you break free from this mold, armed with the understanding that true career satisfaction comes from making choices that resonate with your inner self.

Breaking the Mold: Strategies for a Fulfilling Career

The first step in breaking free from societal expectations is to engage in critical thinking and planning. A study from the Journal of Career Assessment emphasises the importance of self-reflection and planning in career development. It suggests that individuals who take the time to critically evaluate their career options are more likely to find fulfilling work. Let’s consider the example of Alex, a software engineer who felt unfulfilled despite a lucrative salary and job security. After taking a career assessment and consulting with a career coach, Alex transitioned into data science, a field that better aligned with his interests and long-term goals.

Once you’ve identified a career path that aligns with your personal aspirations, the next step is to cultivate the right mindset and grit to navigate the challenges ahead. Angela Duckworth, the author of “Grit,” argues that passion and perseverance are more significant predictors of career success than talent alone. Her research shows that individuals with a growth mindset are more resilient and adaptable, qualities that are essential for career advancement. Take the story of Lisa, who faced numerous setbacks in her quest to become a marketing executive. Instead of giving up, she adopted a growth mindset, sought mentorship, and eventually climbed her way to the top of her field.

Finally, it’s crucial to make career decisions that contribute to both personal happiness and professional growth. A study from the Harvard Business Review found that professionals who made career choices based on intrinsic motivations — such as personal growth and the desire to make a difference — were more satisfied and successful in the long run. Consider the case of Raj, who turned down a high-paying job offer to work for a startup focused on environmental sustainability. Despite the financial risks, Raj found the work immensely rewarding and eventually became a key player in the company’s success.

Now what? Well I’ve provided you with actionable strategies to break free from the societal mold that may be holding you back. From critical thinking and planning to cultivating the right mindset and making choices that align with your true self, these strategies are your toolkit for a fulfilling career. As we’ve seen throughout this article, the key to breaking the mold lies in aligning your career with your personal aspirations and motivations, a theme that has been consistently supported by academic research and real-life examples.

Wrapping up

As we’ve navigated through the complexities of societal expectations, the emotional toll of conformity, and the strategies for breaking free, one thing has become abundantly clear: the key to a fulfilling career lies in aligning your professional path with your personal aspirations and motivations. Research from the Journal of Vocational Behavior, the American Psychological Association, and the Harvard Business Review, among others, consistently supports this notion.

To recap, we started by examining how societal norms often create a mold that can lead to job dissatisfaction and emotional burnout. We heard stories like Sarah’s, who chose law over her passion for art, and Mark’s, who climbed the corporate ladder only to find himself burned out. These examples served as cautionary tales, illustrating the cost of conforming to societal expectations.

Then, we delved into actionable strategies for breaking free from this mold. We learned from Alex, who transitioned from software engineering to data science after critical self-reflection and planning. We were inspired by Lisa, who demonstrated the power of a growth mindset and grit in overcoming career challenges. And we celebrated Raj, who made a career choice based on intrinsic motivations and found both satisfaction and success.

So, what’s the next step? The ball is in your court. It’s time to take a hard look at your career and ask yourself if you’re on a path that aligns with your true self. If the answer is no, remember that it’s never too late to change course. As Angela Duckworth reminds us, “Passion and perseverance” can take you far, even if you’re starting late in the game.

So what? Let’s ponder a thought-provoking question: Are you shaping your career, or is your career shaping you? The answer to this question could very well be the first step in your journey toward a more fulfilling professional life — one that brings you not just financial security but also emotional well-being and true happiness.

So ask yourself…

Are you living your own definition of success, or are you merely a character in a story written by societal expectations?

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Note: The provided links and data are based on real research. The anecdote of individuals is a fictional example to illustrate the point.

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Joe Robens
The Ivory Tower Paradox

Joe Robens: out-of-the-box thinker, tech-savvy enthusiast, lifelong learner. Passionate about innovation, pushing boundaries, and inspiring others to greatness.