Letters To The Editor: The Toy Truck People are coming! Oh, you already knew that…
Yea, I know. I’m getting older. No, wait a minute. It has nothing to do with my age. I still like my music loud. I still play my guitar at a decibel level that makes sure I feel it in my bones. It can’t be that I’ve become some old man telling the kids to “pipe down” and “stay off the lawn”. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the sound of a fast car or a good ole Harley Davidson. It’s not that. It’s these wanna be “toy truck” guys that drive around now. It’s like they ripped off their muffler and stuck a loud speaker on it. For what? to advertise the fact that you got a truck and still drive it around like it’s something precious instead of using it like a REAL truck. It’s not just the trucks either. It’s cars too. I get it. You want people to think your car or truck is fast. Fake it till you make it huh?
Well… I grew up in the country. In the sticks. I grew up at the end of a road with only woods behind us and it was very quite at night. Then I moved to a place where I heard waves lapping up against the shore at night. That was even better. Soon I was living closer and closer to traffic. I got to where I enjoyed the sound of traffic. Like any stereotypical city-dweller I actually got to where it was hard to sleep at night without some sort of noise at night. When I trekked out west to see what I could see, I ended up living in a small town that was very quite. Almost horror movie quite. Where you wait for the boogey man to jump out at you late at night. I kinda got use to that. Not really. Actually, I got to where I would leave the t.v. on or something and I did just fine. Eventually I would leave that place and get back on the road in a self-built camper van.
I called it “the Big Blu”. I don’t have time to shower you with Big Blu stories right this minute, I’ll save that for later. Let’s just say that I’ve slept in some pretty crazy places, in the middle of some pretty crazy situations.
One such place that I slept for 4–5 days back in the summer of 17' was smack dab in the heart of Midtown Manhattan. 5th Ave (Central Park) around 72nd to 75th street. What a place! What a Spot! What a price! absolutely free… What a trip. The most amazing part… how quite it was. While on the road I tend to be a night owl. It’s what works best for driving and for safety. The whole time I was in New York City it was very quite where I stayed. I wouldn’t recommend it, just because I happened to be on a mission and I’m not sure what anyone else’s results may be. But, for me, it was great. I met an amazing doorman and he invited me back to his house, through Harlem, up to Mount Vernon. Such a great trip. I do miss the “city quite” though. Now I’m at the beach, near the beach, we are in the throws of a global pandemic and… it’s even louder here than it ever was in New York City!!! Go figure!!!
I know what it is. In between the bogged down sound of a car trying to sound fast but really telling everyone that they got a bad carburetor… I figured it out! These people never got to play with Toy Trucks when they were a kid. They grew up watching the Fast and the Furious then decided… since I can’t afford a fast car/truck… I might as well piss everyone else off while I try to convince them that I’m a REAL man.
“yes siiir. i’d like you to just beat the living tar out of my muffler till it sounds like its so constipated with black smoke its about to blow. Thanks.”
Yes Sir. Will do.
“No Brother… I don’t think ya gettin’ my drift here. I need it to be TWICE as annoying as my neighbor’s kid’s truck. He just got his upgraded to where you can hear it for 10 miles away. You can only hear mine for 5!”….
Every time I hear a truck or car like that I think one of two things…
1.All the effort you put into that ridiculous sounding piece of crap… you could of spent on a vehicle that ACTUALLY goes fast and isn’t the cheap easily recognizable knock off sound of someone that wants to go fast but just can’t, because they wouldn’t know what to do with it even if they could.
2. Every time I heard that ridiculous groaning whine… I think… Toy truck. I think, this is the same kid that DEMANDED their mom get them an over priced, cheapest piece of shiny metal crap, grocery-store at the checkout counter Toy Truck. Maybe they got one. Maybe they didn’t. I tend to think they didn’t and that’s why their vehicle sounds like it’s whining now. Either way it didn’t stop them from growing up to be an entitled, selfish, pain in my ….ears! It doesn’t sound good… It just sounds desperate!
It’s not that I’m getting older. It’s that people seem to be getting more selfish, egotistical, self-centered, willing-to-follow-the-crowd-because-i-wanna-be-cool-too, I don’t care about ANYONE else and what they may be doing, arrogant, jerks. Yea. I’m pretty sure that’s it.
If that’s you. If you got one of these ridiculously loud-cuz-i-can monstrosities of a vehicle or you know some one who does… do me a favor will ya…
Buy yourself or them a Toy Truck and/or a box set of the Fast and the Furious and give it to them as you read this out loud….
“Here is your toy/fantasy. Play with it here at home. Don’t invade everyone else’s life with it. Thanks.”
Thank you for reading. I’ve said my peace, Peace Out…. May God Bless You (yes, even if your one of the Toy Truck People;)
B.t.w. … I know saying all of this will just make me more acutely aware of it and therefore worst (a.k.a. don’t feed the trolls)… For what it’s worth, I just wanted to get it off my chest. I feel like it should be said in case anyone else is dealing with this problem and feels like it’s just them. It’s not you. It’s the world.
