Hindsight in 2020. Life lessons from the past…
Journey through the past to see the future. Live in the present.
They say hindsight is 2020 and this year it seems a wave of nostalgia and reflection has washed up on the shores of my mind. Being back in a familiar setting with my dad. Watching old basketball games. Mining my memories for treasures to share on this platform and others. 2020 seems to be the year of nostalgia for me and so far, I’m enjoying it. Surfing this nostalgic wave is fun as long as the surfboard I use is “forward vision”. Once I start dwelling on the past I’d better hold on, because I’m headed for a wipe out.
With all of sports cancelled for the last 3 months the only thing a basketball fan like myself had to cling to was old games I found on YouTube. Since the playoffs weren’t happening anytime soon, I went looking for some playoffs. I started watching the Chicago Bulls 1998 playoff run, game for game, on the same days they originally aired so it was like I was watching the playoffs. What made it even better was the documentary series “The Last Dance” that ran along side of it. For 5 weeks every Sunday on ESPN there was a documentary series about those same Chicago Bulls and what it was like behind the scenes during their last season as a team, 1998. Watching the games and the documentary series has brought back so many memories. Remembering what it was like watching the greatest basketball player ever. Reminiscing about life in general in the late 90’s. Before 9/11. Before cellphones. Before people used a computer for everything or most people even had a computer. I guess I’m showing my age a bit but looking back will remind you of that number we all carry around with us. An even sharper instrument for whittling away the seemingly infinite number of years attached at birth is actually playing basketball again. Playing defense on a teenager will viciously reveal just how in/out of shape you really are. But, I still got it. Don’t worry ;)
Writing these articles for Medium has been a trip down memory lane as well. Looking back on my childhood and mining those memories for lessons has been a great tool as I try to move forward in a new direction. As I’ve said before, there isn’t something I look back on with a longing to change. That’s not to say I don’t have regrets. I’m not perfect and I’ve done some bad things in my life.
Given the chance I would rather have not done those bad things but I wouldn’t want to change the lessons I eventually learned from making those mistakes. Wise words: Is the Juice Worth the Squeeze?… Is the lesson worth the pain? I’d have to say in most cases,Yes. I’ll take the mistake and the lesson over the comfort and ignorance. Writing about my past is somewhat cathartic but for me it’s motivation. A while ago I came to terms with what’s been done to me and what I’ve done to others. I realized that if I gathered up all of the things I’ve done in my life, it wouldn’t be very much and it wouldn’t be very good. Writing about these things is both cathartic and motivational because I have to look through the pain to see the lesson.
We all know we can’t change the past. Anyone that thinks they can is just delusional. We all know it, yet sometimes we forget. We forget that we are like passengers on a boat riding through the sea of time. The wake behind the boat is the past and the vast ocean is the future. Looking back is useful to know where we have been, only if we use this knowledge to move forward. Steering a boat backwards leads to disaster. For some they don’t see an ocean, they see a lake. A small lake at that. They see only so much space in which to travel and sooner or later they are going to have to circle back. For those people the wake drives the boat. The tail wags the dog. The past creates the future. While the past can be building blocks for the future, it doesn’t have to dictate it. In this case, acceptance of the past is the most useful tool and can lead to broader horizons. Accepting that your boat is going to create a wake behind it can be a liberating feeling. Driving the boat while concentrating on the wake can lead to disaster.
These useful water analogies bring me to my final point… reflection. I posed the question in another article… how do you KNOW what you look like? A simple answer to that would be reflection. But what happens when that reflection is muddied or in someway disturbed? The reflection you get may not be who you truly are. It depends on the tool your using for reflection as to how close the image meets actuality. Using a mud puddle will not yield the same results as a brand new bathroom mirror. If you choose to use old friends, relatives, pictures, or memories you must remember the margin of error for faithful representation as well. Your parents may remember a situation far differently than you do. You may have just been posing for the camera and actually having a terrible day. You may have thought that movie was great but your friend spilled soda all over their pants and had a horrible night. Looking back, reminiscing and reflecting on your past can be positive if done the right way.
Some people use a therapist as a guide on a journey through their memories, using that trained professional to handle the emotions that arise along the way. Something like a person standing at the top of a double-decker bus on a tour of London pointing out Buckingham Palace. This person is there to point out the monumental sights in your past that you may not have known about otherwise. A good friend, relative, therapist will occasionally go on a tour with you, do some sight seeing, take some pictures and then move on. Careful not to dwell on something painful or harmful. Bringing the slideshow back to the present with questions such as “How does that make you feel?”. Taking a trip through the past, even with a good friend, is like going through a desert… It’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there. Living in the past doesn’t allow for an embrace of the future. Visit the past, reflect, come back to the present and look toward the future.
Key Points to take with you…
The past can teach us lessons given the proper motivation and reasons for looking back
It can be cathartic, even inspiring to remember who we use to be and the situations we use to be in
Reflections can be dangerous if using the wrong material or tools
Taking a trip down memory lane can be nice or a nightmare, either way, just visit and don’t over stay your welcome
That’s it for this one. Thank you for taking the time to read this. As always, May God Bless You.
